Our little family survived Christmas. We accomplished this in a couple of different ways. First, we are humans and therefore remarkably adaptable and resilient creatures that can handle a vast over abundance of rich foods, too much excitement and too little sleep. Second, we set some ground rules with the gift givers in our lives and third, we made a Christmas list for MLO. These things helped us to get through a holiday saturated with travel, people and merriment.
Holiday Sleep
As parents that want to share the excitement and joy of our baby's first Christmas with the people that love him nearly as much as we do, we agreed to split Christmas between both of our families. Since my folks are half-way between my sister and I and since everyone could stay in their house and only a few people could stay in ours, we travelled the 150 miles or so up to my folks. We arrived
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
In the News
A couple of really interesting articles have come out regarding kids. The first isn't so much an article as it is a description of a recently published book of photos called Where Children Sleep by James Mollison. The photographer did portraits of children from all over the world and from many socioeconomic backgrounds paired with a photo of the place they sleep. It's a great look at children and where they call home. I really enjoyed perusing the posted photos.
The second article of interest is about a 1st grade girl named Katie who loves Star Wars. Katie toted a Star Wars water bottle to school everyday. Out of the blue, she insisted that she take an old pink water bottle instead. This was unusual enough that her mom pressed her about it, and discovered that her daughter's schoolmates had made it clear to the kiddo that Star Wars is for boys. Katie insisted that she was different enough by being the only one in class that wears glasses, an eye patch, and is adopted. So mom let Katie take the conventional pink water bottle to school.
Katie's mom wrote about the incident on her blog, Portrait of an Adoption. After making her post, a few fellow geeks came across it and saw in Katie a kindred spirit. A huge out pouring of support ensued and if you type "May the force be with you Katie" into your Google Search engine you will find hundreds of mentions in blogs, articles and videos. This prompted the parents of Katie's classmates to talk with their kids about bullying, and she has received apologies and expressions of support from her schoolmates.
I think this is a wonderful story about how communication can instigate change, and how the cruelty children feel the need to inflict on their peers can be positively addressed and mitigated. Unfortunately, I'm a cynic. After celebrating in my heart for Katie, and all those that found her and formed a community around her need, my thoughts turned dark. I thought about what was different about this story from the numerous stories I've read about other kids that are different. I loved that the parents of those children that gave Katie a hard time talked to their kids about bullying and helped them understand that their behaviour was hurtful. I wonder, though, that if Katie's difference had been less innocuous, more controversial, whether there would have been an effort on those parents' parts to change their childrens' behaviour. Lets say Katie had two mommies, or was gay, or was Muslim or was representative of whatever else stirs fear in the American Consciousness. Katie's mom is right to implore us to challenge our fear of what is different and to live as examples of civility for our children to witness. Star Wars is easy, but can we live that example when it comes to what scares us?
The second article of interest is about a 1st grade girl named Katie who loves Star Wars. Katie toted a Star Wars water bottle to school everyday. Out of the blue, she insisted that she take an old pink water bottle instead. This was unusual enough that her mom pressed her about it, and discovered that her daughter's schoolmates had made it clear to the kiddo that Star Wars is for boys. Katie insisted that she was different enough by being the only one in class that wears glasses, an eye patch, and is adopted. So mom let Katie take the conventional pink water bottle to school.
Katie's mom wrote about the incident on her blog, Portrait of an Adoption. After making her post, a few fellow geeks came across it and saw in Katie a kindred spirit. A huge out pouring of support ensued and if you type "May the force be with you Katie" into your Google Search engine you will find hundreds of mentions in blogs, articles and videos. This prompted the parents of Katie's classmates to talk with their kids about bullying, and she has received apologies and expressions of support from her schoolmates.
I think this is a wonderful story about how communication can instigate change, and how the cruelty children feel the need to inflict on their peers can be positively addressed and mitigated. Unfortunately, I'm a cynic. After celebrating in my heart for Katie, and all those that found her and formed a community around her need, my thoughts turned dark. I thought about what was different about this story from the numerous stories I've read about other kids that are different. I loved that the parents of those children that gave Katie a hard time talked to their kids about bullying and helped them understand that their behaviour was hurtful. I wonder, though, that if Katie's difference had been less innocuous, more controversial, whether there would have been an effort on those parents' parts to change their childrens' behaviour. Lets say Katie had two mommies, or was gay, or was Muslim or was representative of whatever else stirs fear in the American Consciousness. Katie's mom is right to implore us to challenge our fear of what is different and to live as examples of civility for our children to witness. Star Wars is easy, but can we live that example when it comes to what scares us?
Allergy Update
The results of MLO's allergy test came back today and sure enough, our little peanut is severely allergic to peanuts. Boo. We were told to pretty much just stay away from bakeries, Asian food restaurants and ice cream parlors in addition to carefully avoid any potential cross-contamination of food. I'm bummed that he won't be able to experience the joys of peanut butter and peanut brittle, and I'm apprehensive about having to watch so closely everything he eats for what it's made with and from where it comes. I hope we never have to use that Epipen....
Monday, December 20, 2010
How I Screwed up my Milk Supply
As you may know, I chose to breastfeed MLO. My goal was to keep him on breast milk for the first year of his life. I struggled with different breastfeeding challenges as he grew and his appetite and behaviours changed, but I never felt that my milk production was too low. When he started to eat solid foods I failed to remain diligent about retaining my production. I used to produce 8 ounces (oz) of milk at a pumping, but now I'm lucky if I get 4oz, and more often I only get 2oz. I wanted to share my experience with you in the hopes that you don't follow the same faulty path as I.
As MLO began to eat solid food I noticed that he would skip a nursing. He didn't seem to miss it much, whereas he was crazy excited about eating solid food. I figured that if he didn't want the milk, I didn't need to worry about pumping, so I just started skipping a couple of feedings a day. At first I pumped in the morning and at night when he was getting his solid food meal so that I could get enough milk for his cereal meals the next day. Often I would forget to pump in the morning, adding to the decrease of demand. When MLO started eating solid foods in the middle of the day I allowed him to simply nurse 1-2 times a day. I didn't pump at those increments of every 3 hours, times at which he used to nurse. As my body received signals that the milk wasn't being used, it simply stopped producing it.
At first I thought this was no big deal. He didn't want the milk and I was previously pumping around 8oz in a sitting, so the 1-2 pumping sessions a day should have been fine. What I didn't realize was that my production was going down overall, not just at the times when he didn't want it anymore. When it became difficult to pump 2oz in a sitting I knew I was in trouble. Hubby is actually a lactation physiologist, and though his expertise is in bovids, the hominid system is virtually the same. He implored me to begin pumping again at the 3hour intervals, warning me that if my milk supply did return, I would never produce as much as I did before I had allowed my supply to dwindle.
With diligent pumping and a significant increase in my water intake (60+ oz a day) I have been able to get my volume back up to between 2-4oz in a sitting. Through that time we used up a large portion of our frozen milk supply, so the odds of me having a day or 2 without the baby are slim to none. I rarely produce enough in a day to freeze, and MLO has re-discovered his affinity for breast milk. I now feed him every 3 hours and his middle of the day feedings consist of nursing and solids. It's obvious that there isn't much available for him in the middle of the day, but he still gets a good dose of milk in the morning. I am back to pumping only in the morning and at night (sometimes twice, if the timing is right), but with the feedings in the middle of the day he drains me well.
When I reflect on how I let this happen I touch on a couple of points. First, I wanted to have a little more autonomy. I had committed myself to breastfeeding for a year in a very emotional way, but I was tired of being bound to the baby every 3 hours. That isn't to say that I didn't want to be around him, or didn't enjoy the act of nursing (which is wonderful quiet bonding time), it was more the need to stop whatever I'm doing wherever I am and find a discrete place to feed my kid. Nursing can be very isolating and can put the breaks on whatever you have going on. I wanted him to cut down on nursing because I wanted a little more freedom to go out and about. I also kind of wanted my boobs back. It follows then, that I wasn't too keen on pumping, because it isolated me in the same way that nursing did. Second, with a decrease in breastfeeding came a decrease in puke. We had lived in a sea of vomit for 6 months. This new-found respite from regurgitated milk felt fantastic. The less he nursed, the less puke I had to clean up off of myself, my son and my floor.
It was an easy trap to fall into. Unfortunately, the repercussions were far reaching and I regret having let it happen. Be smart: when your kid starts eating solids stay on the pump!
As MLO began to eat solid food I noticed that he would skip a nursing. He didn't seem to miss it much, whereas he was crazy excited about eating solid food. I figured that if he didn't want the milk, I didn't need to worry about pumping, so I just started skipping a couple of feedings a day. At first I pumped in the morning and at night when he was getting his solid food meal so that I could get enough milk for his cereal meals the next day. Often I would forget to pump in the morning, adding to the decrease of demand. When MLO started eating solid foods in the middle of the day I allowed him to simply nurse 1-2 times a day. I didn't pump at those increments of every 3 hours, times at which he used to nurse. As my body received signals that the milk wasn't being used, it simply stopped producing it.
At first I thought this was no big deal. He didn't want the milk and I was previously pumping around 8oz in a sitting, so the 1-2 pumping sessions a day should have been fine. What I didn't realize was that my production was going down overall, not just at the times when he didn't want it anymore. When it became difficult to pump 2oz in a sitting I knew I was in trouble. Hubby is actually a lactation physiologist, and though his expertise is in bovids, the hominid system is virtually the same. He implored me to begin pumping again at the 3hour intervals, warning me that if my milk supply did return, I would never produce as much as I did before I had allowed my supply to dwindle.
With diligent pumping and a significant increase in my water intake (60+ oz a day) I have been able to get my volume back up to between 2-4oz in a sitting. Through that time we used up a large portion of our frozen milk supply, so the odds of me having a day or 2 without the baby are slim to none. I rarely produce enough in a day to freeze, and MLO has re-discovered his affinity for breast milk. I now feed him every 3 hours and his middle of the day feedings consist of nursing and solids. It's obvious that there isn't much available for him in the middle of the day, but he still gets a good dose of milk in the morning. I am back to pumping only in the morning and at night (sometimes twice, if the timing is right), but with the feedings in the middle of the day he drains me well.
When I reflect on how I let this happen I touch on a couple of points. First, I wanted to have a little more autonomy. I had committed myself to breastfeeding for a year in a very emotional way, but I was tired of being bound to the baby every 3 hours. That isn't to say that I didn't want to be around him, or didn't enjoy the act of nursing (which is wonderful quiet bonding time), it was more the need to stop whatever I'm doing wherever I am and find a discrete place to feed my kid. Nursing can be very isolating and can put the breaks on whatever you have going on. I wanted him to cut down on nursing because I wanted a little more freedom to go out and about. I also kind of wanted my boobs back. It follows then, that I wasn't too keen on pumping, because it isolated me in the same way that nursing did. Second, with a decrease in breastfeeding came a decrease in puke. We had lived in a sea of vomit for 6 months. This new-found respite from regurgitated milk felt fantastic. The less he nursed, the less puke I had to clean up off of myself, my son and my floor.
It was an easy trap to fall into. Unfortunately, the repercussions were far reaching and I regret having let it happen. Be smart: when your kid starts eating solids stay on the pump!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Back to Sleep
MLO is firmly in the 9 1/2 months old category and my hopes regarding this age a few months ago were centered around a night of uninterrupted sleep and a less torturous going to sleep routine. I'm proud to say that, largely, we have achieved this. I made my first post almost exactly 3 months ago and it's full of frustration, anxiety, and of course, exhaustion. I noted how my son struggles to go to sleep and stay asleep. I lamented our lack of a firm routine.
Compared to nighttimes in September, going to sleep and staying asleep these days is relatively easy. The little guy starts to get loopy anywhere from 5:00-6:00 PM and we take that as a cue to eat dinner. He has a nice big meal of cereal and veggies then gets changed or bathed, depending on the night. After he has his pajamas on, he cruises around for a bit with either or both of us, in a quiet environment. We let him take the lead and crawl around, play with toys and babble and squeal. Once he rubs his eyes, starts to fuss or loses coordination enough to bump into something and overreact, we pull the trigger. We say goodnight to whoever is not putting him to bed, turn on the white noise, turn off the light, hold him close for a minute or two and lay him in bed. This results in... sleep. No huge cry-fest, no screaming fits, just sleep. It's such a relief. For the most part we get to sleep all night. The exception seems to come when he starts to clearly show teeth under those swollen gums. As they come closer to the surface he gets grumpier and has a propensity to wake in the middle of the night. If that happens, and he hasn't simply gotten his legs shoved uncomfortably into one leg of his jammies, we give him some Advil or try the homeopathic teething remedy I just got, and snuggle him until he calms down. Sometimes, as was the case last night, he won't calm down after we lay him back in bed. After about 30min of complaining I went down and tried to 'reboot' him. I changed his diaper, found his binkie, and sat with him for a few minutes in the rocking chair. When I laid him down he fussed a little, but as far as I could tell, went back to sleep relatively quickly
Napping, as you may know, has never been our strong-suit. This child has an uncanny ability to stay awake, especially if there is something going on. Not the lolling warmth and motion of the ergo baby, not the comfort and calm of his mothers arms can persuade this little mister to close his eyes during the day. I have found that he sleeps best in his crib and relatively well in his car seat. MLO wakes in the morning at around 6:00 (sometimes, to our great displeasure, much earlier) and is usually taking a morning nap by 8:30. That will often last for an hour or longer. Depending on his night of sleep, he will go down again 2-3 hours later, again for about an hour to an hour and a half. For the first 2 naps of the day he goes down easily. If we catch him before he has gotten over-tired we can simply lay him in bed and he'll go right down. Around 4:00 he starts to act like a brat. He rubs his eyes, complains and overreacts. We have dubbed that time, "The Witching Hour" because regardless of how utterly exhausted he acts, he will cry for an hour or more rather than go down for a nap. We have essentially given up on that one.
The biggest napping challenge we have encountered comes when we leave the house. I profoundly dislike trying to fit my errand running and life living into the 2-3 hour intervals between naps. Unfortunately, if MLO falls asleep in the car the likelyhood of A) the drive being longer than 20 minutes or B) him staying asleep when I take the car seat out of the car is slim to none. A greater challenge still, comes when we try to make up for the missed sleep later, say, around 4:00. As you may have guessed by the charming name we have for that time of day, we don't make up for the missed sleep. This means a handful of whining, uncooperative, loud baby and an exhausted mommy. Yay.
So how did we get from 3 months ago having to hold the little bugger down to get him to sleep to the present, when we can simply lay him in his crib and walk away? I have no idea. We did what seemed to work, taking one day at a time, working into our comfort level which stretched with lack of sleep and greater experience. I have listed what I've gleaned from this experience below:
1. There is no hard and fast rule.
2. Things tend to just work themselves out. Trial and error guided us well.
3. Listening to our kid has lead us to sleep. If we pay attention to him, usually we can get him to sleep without a struggle.
4. What worked yesterday might not work today.
5. Our comfort level changed as we worked through the challenge. We used to shrink completely from the idea of simply letting him sob. Until recently, letting him sob was at times the only way to get him to sleep (which we all needed ), and sometimes his sobbing was an indicator that he was in pain, had poop in his pants, was stuck in his jammies or simply needed a binkie and a loving squeeze. Which brings me back to #1.
So I'm pretty sure that I didn't ruin my kid for life by not choosing a sleep method and following it to the letter. I qualify our current sleeping situation as a success and don't regret any of the twists and turns we have taken to get here. As for your own sleep ride, well, I hope you don't have one. I hope your kid is the sort of kid that just falls asleep in his Ergo....
Compared to nighttimes in September, going to sleep and staying asleep these days is relatively easy. The little guy starts to get loopy anywhere from 5:00-6:00 PM and we take that as a cue to eat dinner. He has a nice big meal of cereal and veggies then gets changed or bathed, depending on the night. After he has his pajamas on, he cruises around for a bit with either or both of us, in a quiet environment. We let him take the lead and crawl around, play with toys and babble and squeal. Once he rubs his eyes, starts to fuss or loses coordination enough to bump into something and overreact, we pull the trigger. We say goodnight to whoever is not putting him to bed, turn on the white noise, turn off the light, hold him close for a minute or two and lay him in bed. This results in... sleep. No huge cry-fest, no screaming fits, just sleep. It's such a relief. For the most part we get to sleep all night. The exception seems to come when he starts to clearly show teeth under those swollen gums. As they come closer to the surface he gets grumpier and has a propensity to wake in the middle of the night. If that happens, and he hasn't simply gotten his legs shoved uncomfortably into one leg of his jammies, we give him some Advil or try the homeopathic teething remedy I just got, and snuggle him until he calms down. Sometimes, as was the case last night, he won't calm down after we lay him back in bed. After about 30min of complaining I went down and tried to 'reboot' him. I changed his diaper, found his binkie, and sat with him for a few minutes in the rocking chair. When I laid him down he fussed a little, but as far as I could tell, went back to sleep relatively quickly
Napping, as you may know, has never been our strong-suit. This child has an uncanny ability to stay awake, especially if there is something going on. Not the lolling warmth and motion of the ergo baby, not the comfort and calm of his mothers arms can persuade this little mister to close his eyes during the day. I have found that he sleeps best in his crib and relatively well in his car seat. MLO wakes in the morning at around 6:00 (sometimes, to our great displeasure, much earlier) and is usually taking a morning nap by 8:30. That will often last for an hour or longer. Depending on his night of sleep, he will go down again 2-3 hours later, again for about an hour to an hour and a half. For the first 2 naps of the day he goes down easily. If we catch him before he has gotten over-tired we can simply lay him in bed and he'll go right down. Around 4:00 he starts to act like a brat. He rubs his eyes, complains and overreacts. We have dubbed that time, "The Witching Hour" because regardless of how utterly exhausted he acts, he will cry for an hour or more rather than go down for a nap. We have essentially given up on that one.
The biggest napping challenge we have encountered comes when we leave the house. I profoundly dislike trying to fit my errand running and life living into the 2-3 hour intervals between naps. Unfortunately, if MLO falls asleep in the car the likelyhood of A) the drive being longer than 20 minutes or B) him staying asleep when I take the car seat out of the car is slim to none. A greater challenge still, comes when we try to make up for the missed sleep later, say, around 4:00. As you may have guessed by the charming name we have for that time of day, we don't make up for the missed sleep. This means a handful of whining, uncooperative, loud baby and an exhausted mommy. Yay.
So how did we get from 3 months ago having to hold the little bugger down to get him to sleep to the present, when we can simply lay him in his crib and walk away? I have no idea. We did what seemed to work, taking one day at a time, working into our comfort level which stretched with lack of sleep and greater experience. I have listed what I've gleaned from this experience below:
1. There is no hard and fast rule.
2. Things tend to just work themselves out. Trial and error guided us well.
3. Listening to our kid has lead us to sleep. If we pay attention to him, usually we can get him to sleep without a struggle.
4. What worked yesterday might not work today.
5. Our comfort level changed as we worked through the challenge. We used to shrink completely from the idea of simply letting him sob. Until recently, letting him sob was at times the only way to get him to sleep (which we all needed ), and sometimes his sobbing was an indicator that he was in pain, had poop in his pants, was stuck in his jammies or simply needed a binkie and a loving squeeze. Which brings me back to #1.
So I'm pretty sure that I didn't ruin my kid for life by not choosing a sleep method and following it to the letter. I qualify our current sleeping situation as a success and don't regret any of the twists and turns we have taken to get here. As for your own sleep ride, well, I hope you don't have one. I hope your kid is the sort of kid that just falls asleep in his Ergo....
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Social Experiment
Over the last few months I have been battling with a sense of ennui. I like the word ennui because it sounds rich and implies the sort of boredom that can only come from luxury. I mention this because I want to recognize that I have the luxury to stay home with my son. I don't want to imply that being at home every day with a child is necessarily akin to a day at the spa. In fact, in some personality types staying at home with your baby can lead to isolation, depression, a sense of total dependence on one's spouse and a feeling of worthlessness. These feelings come and go, but when I'm hit with them I have a hard time pulling myself out of the funk.
I made a commitment to myself to get out of the house at least every other day. I find this unexpectedly difficult. You might think I would be dying to get out of the house, but often I feel intimidated. I have so much to do and to take into account before I leave: does the baby have enough diapers, wipes, an extra change of clothes, enough food should we be gone over a meal? Has he slept, if not, will he nap while we're out and if not, am I willing to deal with the consequences for the rest of the day? What will I do with my crazy-ass dog who seems to destroy his surroundings or to mutilate himself if left alone? How will I afford my adventure? With all of these things to consider it's easy to push the outing back until after one more nap or meal. But I've learned to just go for it; keep that diaper bag stocked, screw the nap, skip the shower, take the dog over to the in-laws, do whatever it takes to get out.
I find myself visiting the grocery store frequently. I don't shop in large quantities as regularly as I did before, so I make frequent smaller trips. MLO loves to sit in the grocery cart and look up at the lights and observe the rows of food. He always makes a friend or two. Now that my hiking class has finished for the quarter I need to go trekking on my own. This intimidates me because I don't want to make myself an easy target for mugging or other unpleasantness, but really, who is more vulnerable than a short, thin, lightly muscled mother carrying her infant down a trail? My senile 15 lb dog and my girly looking Pomeranian don't exactly imply ferocious, fight-to-the-death sort of companionship, so don't even go there. Besides, poor old Ricky shouldn't be made to walk more than two blocks. I compromise by walking around the neighborhood, or talking my mother-in-law into letting me come over and hang out for a bit (did you catch the note of sarcasm? My mother-in-law is always willing to hang out; I come with one of her favorite people. Also, I'm fairly certain she likes me :).
The major change came when I rediscovered yoga without the baby. A mommy friend of mine invited me to a yoga class with her and I really enjoyed it. The class had a nice flow to it, I fell easily into the rhythm, and by the end I felt peaceful and satisfied. The next day I was sore as hell, which added to my sense of accomplishment. Yes, yoga makes for a happy mommy, and a happy mommy makes for a happy house. Now, if I can just get a few classes in a week, all will be well.
I have also had the great fortune of taking an independent contractor position with an editing company. The group services authors (for which English is their second language) writing scientific papers. With my background in research and academia and my "abundant free time" I can squeeze out a few papers a week, no problem. This has added to my sense of accomplishment and to my feeling of partnership, since I'm not simply a drain on the bank account. I like that I can take or leave the work and finish it largely on my own time. The subject matter is varied and interesting and I hone my analytical skills by critiquing the science to myself. This has proven a great benefit to my psyche.
There are challenges to staying at home, as I'm sure there are challenges to working outside the home. In fact, I'm fairly certain that working outside the home is more challenging emotionally and physically, so I salute all of you who do that. For those of us that stay home, don't let yourself stay in that funk. Get out, get sane, your whole family will benefit from it!
I made a commitment to myself to get out of the house at least every other day. I find this unexpectedly difficult. You might think I would be dying to get out of the house, but often I feel intimidated. I have so much to do and to take into account before I leave: does the baby have enough diapers, wipes, an extra change of clothes, enough food should we be gone over a meal? Has he slept, if not, will he nap while we're out and if not, am I willing to deal with the consequences for the rest of the day? What will I do with my crazy-ass dog who seems to destroy his surroundings or to mutilate himself if left alone? How will I afford my adventure? With all of these things to consider it's easy to push the outing back until after one more nap or meal. But I've learned to just go for it; keep that diaper bag stocked, screw the nap, skip the shower, take the dog over to the in-laws, do whatever it takes to get out.
I find myself visiting the grocery store frequently. I don't shop in large quantities as regularly as I did before, so I make frequent smaller trips. MLO loves to sit in the grocery cart and look up at the lights and observe the rows of food. He always makes a friend or two. Now that my hiking class has finished for the quarter I need to go trekking on my own. This intimidates me because I don't want to make myself an easy target for mugging or other unpleasantness, but really, who is more vulnerable than a short, thin, lightly muscled mother carrying her infant down a trail? My senile 15 lb dog and my girly looking Pomeranian don't exactly imply ferocious, fight-to-the-death sort of companionship, so don't even go there. Besides, poor old Ricky shouldn't be made to walk more than two blocks. I compromise by walking around the neighborhood, or talking my mother-in-law into letting me come over and hang out for a bit (did you catch the note of sarcasm? My mother-in-law is always willing to hang out; I come with one of her favorite people. Also, I'm fairly certain she likes me :).
The major change came when I rediscovered yoga without the baby. A mommy friend of mine invited me to a yoga class with her and I really enjoyed it. The class had a nice flow to it, I fell easily into the rhythm, and by the end I felt peaceful and satisfied. The next day I was sore as hell, which added to my sense of accomplishment. Yes, yoga makes for a happy mommy, and a happy mommy makes for a happy house. Now, if I can just get a few classes in a week, all will be well.
I have also had the great fortune of taking an independent contractor position with an editing company. The group services authors (for which English is their second language) writing scientific papers. With my background in research and academia and my "abundant free time" I can squeeze out a few papers a week, no problem. This has added to my sense of accomplishment and to my feeling of partnership, since I'm not simply a drain on the bank account. I like that I can take or leave the work and finish it largely on my own time. The subject matter is varied and interesting and I hone my analytical skills by critiquing the science to myself. This has proven a great benefit to my psyche.
There are challenges to staying at home, as I'm sure there are challenges to working outside the home. In fact, I'm fairly certain that working outside the home is more challenging emotionally and physically, so I salute all of you who do that. For those of us that stay home, don't let yourself stay in that funk. Get out, get sane, your whole family will benefit from it!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Emergency Continued
MLO, my mom, dad and I hung out in that ER room for 5 hours. MLO slept about 30 minutes over two naps. Within the first hour after administration of the drugs the redness and swelling largely subsided. By the time we left he only looked vaguely splotchy and his one eye was puffy, but nothing like it was when we arrived that morning. We were prescribed an EpiPen to have with us at all times, and have been given an order for a blood test that will theoretically indicate to what he is allergic. It seems that he may have ingested trace amounts of peanutbutter that morning, so peanut is the most likely culprit, though we'll have a better idea after his allergy test. Neither Hubby nor I have food allergies, nor did we when we were children, so this came as a surprise. I don't look forward to the constant vigilance required of a parent whose child may have a life threatening reaction to a food, especially a food as prevalent as peanuts. Of course it's possible that he isn't allergic to peanuts, or that he will grow out of this allergy. The allergy testing is not terribly accurate, but it's better than nothing, so it should give us some information we can use. The bottom line is we have to just wait and see. As with all things baby, this characteristic is as likely to unpredictably change as it is to stay the same. I just wish the consequences weren't so scary!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Emergency
Well we made the first of what is likely to be many trips to the emergency room on Tuesday morning. MLO and I went up to hang with my folks for a couple of days on Monday morning. That night he had me up at 2:30, 3:30 and 5:30. He has four teeth working toward the surface so the nights have gotten rough again. After nursing him at 6:00 I decided to see if there was anyone up and willing to take the little bugger so I could rest some more. My dad was up and they shared some english muffin, played and wandered around. By 9:00 we were starting his meal of cereal and banana and I noticed that the skin around his left eye was red and puffy. That had happened the last time we visited my folks and the inflammation had receded pretty quickly. This time I commented that they must have something around the house to which he was allergic. After breakfast I tried to lay him down for a nap (he'd been up since 5:30). He whined and cried while I tried to finish my own breakfast before jumping in the shower and running off to an appointment at 10:45. As he got more frantic my mom decided to go in and soothe him. Based on his inability to calm down she got him up. That's when she noticed his eye.
MLO's eye had gotten so red and puffy that it looked as though he'd been hit. The eye was rapidly swelling shut. As my mom showed his face to me he turned his head and I noticed that he had what looked like red welts (or hives) on his neck and shoulders. This prompted me to call our pediatrician (250 miles away) and leave a message with the physician's assistant. In the intervening minutes between our initial inspection of his head and neck and the end of my call to the doctor's office the swelling on his face and neck had worsened and we noticed more hives. This is when I started to freak out. The swelling was spreading and becoming more intense at a rapid pace; the most dominant thought in my mind was, "How long until he can't breathe?"
I ripped open his button-down footie pajamas and my stomach dropped. He had angry red swollen hives all over his body. His groin, his underarms, his torso, arms, and legs were all covered in swelling hives. At that point I had two voices in my head. The first one said, "Emergency room now!" the second one said, " Stay calm, he's breathing fine, he isn't crying, don't lose your head." In an attempt to be fiscally responsible I called our insurance to try to figure out if I would be totally screwed if I took him to an emergency room. It sounded like I would be.
One of the insurance sanctioned alternatives to the ER was known to my mom as a good place to go so we decided to head there. As I turned onto a busy street I realized that we had miles of pokey downtown traffic through which to meander while the hospital was a quick 3 minutes away. While stopped in the turning lane at a light, I couldn't shake this feeling that my son could start having breathing problems and I would be stuck in downtown Monterey at some light while a steady line of tourists marched across the street in front of me. In tears, feeling literally damned if I did and damned if I didn't, I made a split second decision to rush to the hospital. I checked the lane next to me and barrelled through the green light.
MLO happily babbled at my mom who was sitting next to him in the backseat. I can't tell you how much that calmed my nerves. He was breathing fine and was in good enough spirits to make conversation. When we got to the ER I dropped my mom and the baby off, knowing that she has been to an ER more times than I could count, and I parked the car. When I joined her she looked forlornly at me. She had signed us in but we were told to wait. I picked up the red, puffy little baby and paced in front of the front desk. Nurses spied me as they walked by and in no time we were being seen.
At this point MLO could only see out of one eye, and not very well. His ears were swollen and the red puffiness had spread all over his scalp, torso, arms and legs. Upon his examination the doctor told us that his temperature was normal, his lungs sounded good and no swelling was observed in his mouth or throat. They put in an IV, the little trooper only fussing for a moment when they stuck him, and administered a steroid and a histamine blocker....
Stay tuned for more, MLO is awake and hungry!
MLO's eye had gotten so red and puffy that it looked as though he'd been hit. The eye was rapidly swelling shut. As my mom showed his face to me he turned his head and I noticed that he had what looked like red welts (or hives) on his neck and shoulders. This prompted me to call our pediatrician (250 miles away) and leave a message with the physician's assistant. In the intervening minutes between our initial inspection of his head and neck and the end of my call to the doctor's office the swelling on his face and neck had worsened and we noticed more hives. This is when I started to freak out. The swelling was spreading and becoming more intense at a rapid pace; the most dominant thought in my mind was, "How long until he can't breathe?"
I ripped open his button-down footie pajamas and my stomach dropped. He had angry red swollen hives all over his body. His groin, his underarms, his torso, arms, and legs were all covered in swelling hives. At that point I had two voices in my head. The first one said, "Emergency room now!" the second one said, " Stay calm, he's breathing fine, he isn't crying, don't lose your head." In an attempt to be fiscally responsible I called our insurance to try to figure out if I would be totally screwed if I took him to an emergency room. It sounded like I would be.
One of the insurance sanctioned alternatives to the ER was known to my mom as a good place to go so we decided to head there. As I turned onto a busy street I realized that we had miles of pokey downtown traffic through which to meander while the hospital was a quick 3 minutes away. While stopped in the turning lane at a light, I couldn't shake this feeling that my son could start having breathing problems and I would be stuck in downtown Monterey at some light while a steady line of tourists marched across the street in front of me. In tears, feeling literally damned if I did and damned if I didn't, I made a split second decision to rush to the hospital. I checked the lane next to me and barrelled through the green light.
MLO happily babbled at my mom who was sitting next to him in the backseat. I can't tell you how much that calmed my nerves. He was breathing fine and was in good enough spirits to make conversation. When we got to the ER I dropped my mom and the baby off, knowing that she has been to an ER more times than I could count, and I parked the car. When I joined her she looked forlornly at me. She had signed us in but we were told to wait. I picked up the red, puffy little baby and paced in front of the front desk. Nurses spied me as they walked by and in no time we were being seen.
At this point MLO could only see out of one eye, and not very well. His ears were swollen and the red puffiness had spread all over his scalp, torso, arms and legs. Upon his examination the doctor told us that his temperature was normal, his lungs sounded good and no swelling was observed in his mouth or throat. They put in an IV, the little trooper only fussing for a moment when they stuck him, and administered a steroid and a histamine blocker....
Stay tuned for more, MLO is awake and hungry!
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Back to the Rash Saga
Hubby and I are scientists. It follows, then, that we would experiment on our child.
When we got in touch with our diaper service about MLO's rash, they suggested that we try the diapers again after they had stripped them. This process is supposed to remove ammonia build-up and etc. So we gave it a shot. After a day of wearing the diapers MLO was red and irritated again. It took a day and a half of wearing the Huggies before his skin returned to normal. We then decided to wash the diapers in our own detergent. We use Costco's free and clear detergent, and MLO doesn't have skin problems where his clothes touch. So I washed about a day and a half worth of the diapers twice on hot, both times with an additional rinse after the wash for good measure. MLO's skin tolerated the diapers much better. He still gets a spotted rash now and again above his groin and on his sit bones, and he tends to be more interested in scratching himself. He doesn't seem uncomfortable, though, and I simply can't stand the thought of throwing all of those non-degradable diapers into a landfill.
It is interesting to me that we used those diapers for 5 months before he developed a problem. I wonder if that indicates a propensity toward developing allergies. I am so curious about to what, exactly, he reacts. It must be some element of their detergent. I should ask them what they use.
So now we begin on the path of washing our own diapers. I don't have a problem with this, except when he has taken a mighty dump and sat in it before I've realized it. Then the poo is squashed against the diaper and is difficult to remove. I haven't gotten to the point where I put the diaper into the toilet and swish, nor have I designated a stick for poop scraping. I just keep hoping it doesn't happen. Ha.
I also don't know what to do about acquiring diapers. We are welcome to purchase the diapers we've been using from the service, but he has all but outgrown them. I also would like to get something softer and possibly more breathable, though I don't know such a diaper actually exists. I know that diapers made of hemp are supposed to be more absorbent and antimicrobial than those made of cotton, but accordingly they cost more. We will need at least 40 of them and the Cadillac of diapers runs nearly $20 a piece while the basic prefolds are $3-6 each. Ugh. It is still cheaper than the $10 a package at 26 diapers a package. It's funny how that seemed less expensive at the time.
During this time, Diaperpin.com has become a valuable resource. If you haven't looked around their site I recommend visiting. The site is dedicated to information regarding different cloth diapering options, cleaning suggestions, vendors and user ratings. It has proven very educational.
So there you have it. We are slowly finding our way back to cloth diapering full time.
When we got in touch with our diaper service about MLO's rash, they suggested that we try the diapers again after they had stripped them. This process is supposed to remove ammonia build-up and etc. So we gave it a shot. After a day of wearing the diapers MLO was red and irritated again. It took a day and a half of wearing the Huggies before his skin returned to normal. We then decided to wash the diapers in our own detergent. We use Costco's free and clear detergent, and MLO doesn't have skin problems where his clothes touch. So I washed about a day and a half worth of the diapers twice on hot, both times with an additional rinse after the wash for good measure. MLO's skin tolerated the diapers much better. He still gets a spotted rash now and again above his groin and on his sit bones, and he tends to be more interested in scratching himself. He doesn't seem uncomfortable, though, and I simply can't stand the thought of throwing all of those non-degradable diapers into a landfill.
It is interesting to me that we used those diapers for 5 months before he developed a problem. I wonder if that indicates a propensity toward developing allergies. I am so curious about to what, exactly, he reacts. It must be some element of their detergent. I should ask them what they use.
So now we begin on the path of washing our own diapers. I don't have a problem with this, except when he has taken a mighty dump and sat in it before I've realized it. Then the poo is squashed against the diaper and is difficult to remove. I haven't gotten to the point where I put the diaper into the toilet and swish, nor have I designated a stick for poop scraping. I just keep hoping it doesn't happen. Ha.
I also don't know what to do about acquiring diapers. We are welcome to purchase the diapers we've been using from the service, but he has all but outgrown them. I also would like to get something softer and possibly more breathable, though I don't know such a diaper actually exists. I know that diapers made of hemp are supposed to be more absorbent and antimicrobial than those made of cotton, but accordingly they cost more. We will need at least 40 of them and the Cadillac of diapers runs nearly $20 a piece while the basic prefolds are $3-6 each. Ugh. It is still cheaper than the $10 a package at 26 diapers a package. It's funny how that seemed less expensive at the time.
During this time, Diaperpin.com has become a valuable resource. If you haven't looked around their site I recommend visiting. The site is dedicated to information regarding different cloth diapering options, cleaning suggestions, vendors and user ratings. It has proven very educational.
So there you have it. We are slowly finding our way back to cloth diapering full time.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Stay Tuned and Yay for Christmas!
I apologize for the hiatus! I have been conducting a social experiment on myself in addition to working as much as possible (as in earning money) when the boy is asleep. Don't fret; I'm not turning tricks or anything. Just whoring my impeccable editing abilities (yeah, right... have you read this blog?) on the side.
MLO has done an absurd number of adorable things in the last month, not the least of which I detail below. So much has happened, in fact, that I can not tell you about it in one post. No, this is days worth of hilarity, updates on rash and sleep, and descriptions of shit fits you won't believe. So without further ado, the cuteness...
MLO has done an absurd number of adorable things in the last month, not the least of which I detail below. So much has happened, in fact, that I can not tell you about it in one post. No, this is days worth of hilarity, updates on rash and sleep, and descriptions of shit fits you won't believe. So without further ado, the cuteness...
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