19 Months and a Bucket Full of Toys

Pack it up, pack it in, let me begin by saying that I had no idea what to pack for MLO's adventure in the wilds of Montana. I brought every bit of clothing that fit and would seem to fit three months from our move out there and of course all of his toiletries and medical supplies. When it came to toys and books, I was lost. The problem was that he just has too many. Hubby and I have purchased maybe two toys for the kid, but aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends have utterly showered MLO. We had limited space, so I had to chose the toys and books wisely.


First, I concentrated on the books. MLO had just started to develop his obsession with heavy machinery, so I scoured used book stores, Ross and Marshall's for inexpensive books that would feed his love of trucks and the outdoors. He spent the months subsequent to his birthday pouring over his new birthday books, so he had somewhat lost interest in the books we had. I kept the newly purchased, "Montana" books hidden to maintain the novelty and ended up bringing about five each of new and old books. While he's been here he's received four more new books.

With regard to the toys, I made efforts to bring things that had versatility and appealed to his more recent phases. For instance, he just started to take a fancy to pulling things behind him as he walked, so I packed my old toy rotary phone with the eyes that move. I grabbed all the legos we had inherited from my folks, which included some with wheels which are his faves. I brought his 'Learn to-Dress Jake' and his much beloved stuffed horsey. For the car I packed a few small toys that zipped, clinked and contained other toys, my favorite being his Wolfy. He loves zipping the pocket and playing with all the characters. It's a life saver for the car. Overall we had about an 18 gallon bin full of toys.

Now that we've had a couple of months here, I more clearly see what his favorites are. He plays with all of his toys, but his newly acquired Tonka dump truck is his favorite outdoor toy. In the house he loves to play with his soft-ball and with a wind up dump truck we scored for $3 at WalMart. The Wheely Cow has saved us... see the review on the Stuff N' Clutter page. The books were also critical. He spends minutes straight (hey, for a toddler that's a long time!) going through the pages of all of his books.

Of course, nothing beats a stick, some pine-cones, rocks and the great-outdoors, but when it's time to go inside it's nice to have a few things other than the furniture to play with.

Inappropriate, Hillarious, Adorable: Things my Toddler Says

MLO pronounces truck, "Cock." That's right, ladies and gentlemen, my son exclaimed in an intimate restaurant during the lunchtime rush, "Cock! Big big Cock!" as he pointed out the window. It was awesome.

He pronounces "Silly" without the 'l' sound and everything is silly: Mama, Dada, the dogs Snoopy (who he calls "Sissy") and Ricky (who he calls "Wicky"), Grandma and Grandpa and the rain ("Wainy").

He loves to throw rocks in the water.  Suddenly during a meal he will exclaim, "Rocks! Water! Throw!" and make a huge splashing sound while throwing his hands into the air, all while making the most serious of faces.

He loves hiking and will pick up a stick, start to use it as a hiking stick then point down our dirt road and ask, "Hike?"

He refers to toast as "Pope." This makes breakfast a particularly holy experience for all of us.

He has started to refer to things in the plural, and when he does so he puts a long pause between the word and the 's' sound, for example, "Gape-eh-sss" for grapes.

He sings along to songs. We have our own version of "The Wheels on the Bus" and he acts out all the parts and sometimes finish lines when I sing certain songs. He can actually carry a tune incredibly well. He must get that from his grandma....

He will go to the stereo system in the dining room (even though he isn't allowed anywhere near it) and ask "Dance?" That's my queue to turn on Pandora so that we can rock out to Simon and Garfunkle or MGMT.

My son recently received a Melissa & Doug animal puzzle that he adores, although doesn't quite know what to do with. Whenever he sees it, he gleefully and affectionately exclaims, "Aminews!"

Though he hasn't purposefully achieved airborne status, he loves to "jump". Usually this means squatting down really low, then lifting one foot really high off the ground while shouting, "Gee-ump!"

When he falls down he announces his sudden contact with the earth in the following ways:

1. "Oh boom."
2.  An emphatic, "Oh no!" (complete with upturned hands in the air)
3.  "Bonk." (accompanied by a hand to whatever part of his body is "injured")

The baby who wouldn't kiss

Ever since MLO began to express his personality he has had a way of attracting an entire room's attention and sending the mood of the place into joyful wonder. He's always been beautiful, funny, easy to love and shamelessly flirtatious. However, while other babies his age would hug and kiss and express love in myriad other ways, MLO generally kept his affection to himself. For instance, after he learned to walk he would now and again run over to me, wrap his arms around my legs and say "Hiiiiii Mama." Then, as quickly as he appeared, he would scamper off to wreak havoc on some toy or clean corner of the house. That was it. No kisses, few hugs. As adoring and utterly devoted parents, Hubby and I would shower hugs and kisses and "I love you"s on the child with abandon, so we didn't really understand why MLO didn't seem to reciprocate. To clarify, neither of us doubted that he loved us and that he knew he was loved, we just didn't understand why he didn't express it in ways other kids his age did.   

My favorite example of this is as follows: One morning, when MLO was around 15 months old and had just awakened from his nap, I walked into his room. The picture of happiness, he smiled broadly from above the rails of his crib and exclaimed, "Hiiiii Mama!"  I went over and gave him a big kiss and a squeeze, and as our routine dictated, proceeded to play a game of hide and seek while he remained in bed. We both laughed and smiled and when I went to lift him from the crib I asked for a kiss. "Kiss for mommy?", I said, and leaned my cheek in toward his face. He took his little hands, one on each side of my face, and turned my face around to look him in the eyes. He then turned his cheek to face me, and pulled my face toward his cheek, so that I may kiss him. Yes, my son in effect said, "You may have the profound privilege of kissing me. That's as much affection as your gonna get, lady."

It was some months later that MLO finally started to give hugs and kisses. At first his kisses were fully opened mouth affairs, with plenty of drool. He finally got that he should purse his lips a bit. He still only very rarely volunteers a kiss, though he generously doles out hugs. His favorite times to hug are when he is sitting in his highchair or laying on the changing table. I'm fairly certain he uses the imploring request "Hug!" on the changing table as a distraction mechanism, since he seems to hate having his diaper changed. He has also picked up the habit of saying lovingly, "Ooooh, Mama!" and "Ooooh Dada!" when he finds us particularly funny or sweet. He has even started saying "Silly Dada!" (or Mama) and pronounces "Silly" without the 'l' sound. So yeah, my baby that wouldn't kiss is now the toddler that loves to hug. I'll take it!

The joy of cooking... for baby

Ah the food issue. Mommies have all had it: my kid won't eat this, my kid will only eat that, my kid ate this religiously and now won't touch it.... I can safely say that, in short, food is a struggle for all of us at one point or another.

When MLO started on solid food there was little he didn't like. Those few things were easily avoidable and nutritional equivalents were readily available and appreciated by him. Somewhere around 12 months he started to get weird on me. He would turn his nose up at our tried and true routine of scrambled eggs with cheese, broccoli, and  a touch of garlic powder for breakfast. WTF pal? All of a sudden I had to get creative. How do I pack the same amount of nutritional bang into an MLO sized meal? I started to branch out: french toast made with maple syrup instead of sugar, no syrup on the toast with a banana or oatmeal with honey and whole milk and a serving of veggies and hummus at lunch or dinner. I cut scrambled eggs out all together and started to offer more meats and cheeses. I discovered he loved goat cheese and that aside from 'outside' the only other discernible word he uttered was 'hummus'.

As I was struggling with the need to explore food choices for MLO I kept asking myself, "What changed?" One day it dawned on me, the kid was bored. Can you imagine eating the same things at the same time of day for 3 or more months straight? In hind-site, I would have been concerned if he hadn't started to turn his nose up at our "tried and true" routine. As time went on, I started to mix things up as a matter of course. I tried hard to move those staples around so they didn't happen in the same way at the same time. I began to bake bread and muffins that I knew could pack a punch for the whole grains they contained. As our trip to Montana grew closer I began to fret over how I would meet his needs over 8 days and 7 nights of road trip and camping. The cooler and the fridge in our tiny trailer weren't long term storage situations that I trusted, and I knew that at least one meal of the day would happen in the car. Fortunately, I stumbled on Go Go Applesauce, an individually wrapped packet of organic applesauce. I packed string cheese and a plethora of crackers, my favorite for MLO being the Trader Joe's Multigrain crackers for their relatively low sodium, delicious flavor, practically choke-safe texture and Peanut-free-ness. What I didn't plan for was the emotional and temporal need for fast food; on that trip MLO was introduced to his first McDonald's hamburger and fries, and Jack in the Box breakfast bowl, and I don't feel a bit guilty about it. MLO ate Daddy's grilled burgers for dinner and enjoyed many a breakfast of cheerios and banana as we rolled out of the campsite. 

Since arriving in our destination MLO has discovered fresh trout (shish- for fish), raw spinach slathered in ranch dressing, raw green beans and plain raisins. He loves wheat toast with butter at breakfast and snacks of yogurt with cinnamon, cheerios and applesauce. Oatmeal with whole milk, a touch of honey and raisins or fresh fruit is a welcome way to beat the morning chill. Much to my shame, he has a derth of experience when it comes to feeding himself with utensils. He has such a propensity for making a mess that I shy away from giving him the spoon when he has yogurt and I never thought to hand over the fork except with food already on it. I have resolved to overcome my fear of mess and give him cheerios in a bowl with a spoon (I'm starting slow... don't judge me!) and green beans on his high chair tray with a fork at his disposal. The dogs are going to love it.

My Second Mother's Day

This Mother's Day weekend was a real treat for me. I had the immense pleasure of sharing it with my grandma, mom and dad and Sunday itself with my mother- and father-in-law as well. On Mother's Day we hosted a brunch at our house with MLO entertaining his most adoring fans. We ate fresh cinnamon rolls with coffee and tea then feasted on salad of locally grown fruits and Hubby's patented camping trip scramble; a cornucopia of meat, cheese, eggs and veggies. Frank Sinatra played in the background but MLO stole the show.

MLO has learned a few new tricks that really tickle the funny bone. He claps, not in response to anything, but to initiate a glowing round of applause from his devotees. Other children did that months ago, but MLO has been holding out on us. He also shakes his finger and says "No, no, no." He learned this adorable, albeit potentially problematic, trick from watching my folks scold their lovable but forever naughty dog. The looks on his face while executing both of these new moves send me into stitches. He looks so amused and gleeful when clapping and the mild scowl he adopts while shaking that little finger cracks us all up.  I can't get past how truly wonderful it is to watch this baby become a little boy.

Knowing how much I adore my son, and how fleeting his babyhood is, I can only imagine how much it means to his grand- and great-grandparents to spend this time with him and see him happy with his parents, their babies. I feel so fortunate to have the kind of relationship with my parents and in-laws that allows us all to get together and enjoy each other and this very special time in MLO's life.

Fun Mother's and Father's Day Gift Ideas

Being a mildly creative person I wanted to do something fun for my mom, grandma and mother-in-law for mother's day last year. I wanted it to be personalized and unique to MLO. Several companies in our area do hand and foot prints of your baby in clay that they glaze and fire and they look beautiful but cost a bit more than I was interested in paying. Additionally, I wanted to make something so that both MLO and I had our stamps on it, so to speak. Another mom suggested going to our local 'paint-your-own-pottery' shop to stamp MLO's foot prints on something (hand prints are next to impossible, even for a 1 year old- they just clench). All of the adults in our extended families drink coffee, so I went down, picked out mugs and painted away.

There are a few keys to success:

1. Bring someone else to handle baby. I brought my mother-in-law which allowed her to pick out the colors she wanted on her mug.
2. Don't try to reprint baby's footprint if the first one didn't quite make it. If you have to, paint in the toes.
3. The imprint is a three person job- Grandma held MLO, while an employee held baby's foot still and I rolled the mug across MLOs foot.
4. The older the baby, the harder it is. I took MLO just after his birthday to finally make a mug for myself and he was far more difficult to entertain at 12 months than he was at 2 and 3. He also was more engaged during the imprint, which proved more challenging as he tried to pull away.
5. Use a lighter color as the base color and use a very dark color for the footprint. You don't get the advantage of multiple layers of paint for the imprint so it's important that the print be much darker in color than the base color.

I ended up with some really cute mugs that were totally DIY. They were not professional quality, but hey, they're going to your parents. I love the idea of making something for your folks that includes an aspect of your child so that they benefit from a double dose of personalized gift giving!

A less DIY but totally personalized gift option is the photo mug or calendar. I use Snapfish to create mine. Photo mugs are actually a bit cheaper than the paint your own options, and they are totally cheesy, but grandparents love them. Calendars are great around Christmas time since the new year is about to start. I used pictures from each month of MLO's first year and it was so cute. Already we have compared MLO this year to MLO last year  using the calendars and it's fun to see.

A slightly more personalized option is the brag book. You can find classy looking ones at CR Gibson or Etsy or you can make one yourself. Giving the book already filled with pictures personalizes it and makes it more meaningful. This gift is more of a grandma gift, since they usually have purses with ample enough room to carry such an object. For a similar idea you can get a relatively inexpensive digital photo frame with a memory card already filled with pictures of your little one and/or your family through the years. This works great for dads as it's something they can have at work.

Those are my ideas, what are yours?

A Weaning

MLO and I struggled with nursing these last few months. I screwed up my milk supply and had barely enough to get us through the day. The nursing first thing was the only really good feeding we had. The others, generally occurring at 3 hour intervals thereafter, were low volume, and he tended to fuss for much of the time. By March we had, for the most part, dropped the latest feeding (occurring between 3 and 4 PM), sort of accidentally. Neither of us remembered, and with all that exciting solid food he didn't seem to mind. So, on March 1st I stopped the other feedings all together. For the first two weeks of March we nestled close in the mornings and shared our beloved morning routine. It wasn't the quiet, focused feedings we shared months prior. He pulled off and looked around, poked my belly button and would seem to lose interest entirely, only to cry when I buttoned myself up, so to speak.

One morning in mid-March he woke up, and instead of expressing interest in my chest he seemed to want to get down and play. So I let him. And then it struck me, "He isn't asking to nurse. You wanted to nurse for a year, but no longer. Let's just stop." With a twinge of loss and nostalgia I fed my son a meal of eggs and cheerios and he hasn't looked back. I both miss nursing and relish not having to do it. The quiet moments spent holding each other that led to long gazes into each other's eyes are no longer. These days I can hardly get MLO to sit still long enough to hug and kiss him before he pushes my face away and slips from my lap. I have to admit, though, that I don't miss the pressing feeling of obligation that came like clockwork to find a quiet place to nurse. I don't miss sitting alone in a room to avoid the constant distractions that led to MLO's patented nurse and pull-off, nurse and pull-off method of nursing; a completely maddening way to feed a child. I don't miss fretting about what I've eaten and how much water I've consumed. I don't miss worrying about how much milk he's getting and how to increase my supply.

Overall, the weaning was easy and has been a good experience for both of us. MLO loves to drink his milk and snack every few hours. In addition to his milk cup, he has a water bottle that is always accessible to him. He doesn't seem to miss snuggling with me, and he certainly relishes feeding himself. As with everything so far, I register a deep significance, feel strongly these senses of loss and gain. MLO just keeps on keepin' on, living fully in each moment but always ready for the next. I have discovered there is no greater teacher than my 1-year old son. 

Have shoes, will travel.

Milestone alert: MLO is walking. Not just a few steps here and there, but exclusive use of the soles of his feet to move from point A to point B. This happened on March 29th. All of a sudden he decided that he preferred walking over crawling. I realized he had made this decision with one tiny action. I went to open the front door and from across the room he began to crawl toward me, then got up and essentially ran over to me. It wasn't coordinated or fluid, and he fell, but he got back up and walked over. That was it. He didn't really go back to crawling after that. So the next day MLO and I went to downtown San Luis Obispo, and holding my hand, we walked around. Not down the street, but the equivalent of about 2 blocks over a few hours. We moved at his pace, and ended up in a couple of places I hadn't intended to go. We saw goldfish in the pond at Growing Grounds and hippies in the square at the Mission. He made friends with young and old alike. He showed me things I hadn't bothered to notice before, like the bright new fire hose hook-ups on the sides of buildings and tiny hidden walkways behind locked iron gates. It was lovely: making friends with strangers, not feeling rushed, watching my son learn the ropes of sitting on a park bench or walking down a slope. I kept hearing "It goes by so fast. Savor it", and that day I did. I moved with my son, savoring his experience of life and being thankful for a slow day in SLO.

A Litany of Adorable Things

I often feel that my accounting of MLO's cuteness becomes weary to those upon which I inflict the descriptions. For those that care to know, here is a list of his most precious actions occurring in the weeks since he turned 1:

•  He has really begun to interact with the bath. After transitioning him to the "big kid's bathtub" he has taken to splashing emphatically while giggling hysterical, spontaneously dunking his face and waving goodbye to the bathwater as it slips down the drain. Freaking cute.
• MLO waves to everyone. I catch him waving at the dogs, complete strangers, the garbage truck and even to the sound of someone starting up their car and driving away.
• MLO produces animal sounds on command. Dog, cat, lion, elephant, monkey, gorilla, and owl.
• He walks.
• He shows affection. When our dog, Snoopy, allows MLO to get close enough to pet, the kid gently pats the dog's back. He also gently shoves his head into the dog while making a noise akin to a dog whine.When I ask for kisses I make the kissing sound MLO first learned as the "come" command for Snoopy, and my son lowers his head and gently butts it into my face making the whining sound. It's pretty damn sweet.
• He babbles and points incessantly. When I go get him after a nap he will slip out of my reach, sit squarely on his mattress and point at the pictures printed on his sheets. I go through each picture with him, saying the word and sometimes the color until he seems satisfied that he has it down. Then he allows me to pick him up.  

That's all that comes to mind at present. I hope it was as enjoyable to read as it was to recount.

Tasty Finger Food for your Little Dude (or Dudette)

MLO has become increasingly picky. In bygone days he would eat nearly anything you put in his mouth with only a brief analyzation trial period (as in seconds) for new foods. Since beginning table foods (the non-pureed version of what we've been feeding him) his tastes have become much more discerning. Whole peas? Blegh. Chopped broccoli? Blegh. Chopped carrot? Blegh. Dude! You ate these no problem when they were pureed. WTF?

I've noticed that the pickiness seems to reach it's height at dinner time. At lunch he will gladly munch more than a few cubes of steamed diced carrot but when dinner rolls around, forget about it. It seems that the progression to tolerating the new textures and demands of table foods requires a well rested, and thus patient, baby. It also seems that this process is a long one (at least in our case).

So against my better judgement, but due to my insatiable curiosity and penchant for culinary optimism, I'm going to introduce a new table food tonight. The baked then pureed or even just scooped version of sweet potatoes is a go-to, sure fire, baby pleasing staple in this house. Lets see what he thinks of SWEET POTATO FRIES.

The Recipe

• Approximately (~) 1 pound of medium sweet potatoes halved, then sliced into ~1/4 inch strips. Turn the strips on their sides and slice again to the same dimension.
•  2 tbs of extra virgin olive oil
•  A generous sprinkling of Italian Seasoning
•  A similarly generous sprinkling of garlic powder
•  One more generous sprinkling of fresh ground pepper

Heat oven to 425 degrees. Place sweet potatoes in a bowl and drizzle with olive oil. Add seasonings and mix the sweet potatoes until coated. It's best to use your hands here to ensure the fries are covered with oil. Place the fries in one layer on a lined or lightly greased baking sheet. Bake for 15 minutes, then remove the sheet and flip the fries over (a spatula works great). Bake them for 15 minutes or so; you want them to brown. It's ok if some of the ends get black, but they just aren't very nummy when the whole batch is that way: trust me.


I like this idea because the fries are salt free, oiled with nutritious and tasty olive oil, and baked instead of fried. They are a good size for little hands, and at the very least, a novelty. They are tasty as-is for grown-ups, too, which make them a wonderful side dish for the whole family to share.

I'll let you guys know how it turns out tonight. If he doesn't like them, I'm sure I'll find someone who'll eat them....

The Darkside: When you can't defeat it, eat it!

Yeah, that's right. I made Star Wars themed teething biscuits. Recipe courtesy of Courtney Russell, Wonder Time, Feb 2009 and cookie cutters courtesy of Williams Sonoma. If you don't like my nerdiness, you can suck it. No, seriously, they are made for people without teeth. Enjoy.

Party

Today marks 1 month until MLO turns 1. As this milestone approaches I've been toying with the idea of throwing a birthday party. I recall that several months ago I listened to two mothers discussing plans for their little ones' first birthday parties. At the time it seemed strange: sending out invitations, baking a cake, finding a place to have the party. I felt like some big party in honor of a 1 year old was somehow over indulgent and was really more a chance for the parents to show off than for their child. I mean, the kid is turning 1. He isn't even talking yet. He isn't going to get it. The fancy invitations and elaborate themed decorations only serve to show how much money you can blow.

As our own baby has grown, my view of the 1st birthday party has softened. As a friend of mine pointed out, this milestone is about the parents, too. Having a party in honor of our first year as parents is legitimate. We've worked really hard, harder than we've ever worked before. I sacrificed my body's autonomy, we've sacrificed sleep, sanity, togetherness as a couple, patience, evenings out, weekends away. We've depended on (and sometimes barely tolerated) the support and advice of our friends and families. Our lives have changed in innumerable ways, and we've come out stronger because of it. Hubby and I had never before known such joy. So I think a party is in order. Maybe not with fancy invitations and decorations. I can't afford that. No, I think a potluck lunch in the backyard with all those people that have helped us out is the way to go. I want to bring the people together that love our little family. I want to celebrate our first year as parents, our son's first year of life, and all the people that have supported us through this monumental change.

Socially Awkward, Socially Aware

I don't get people. I'm really not very good at seeing what motivates them and to what they relate. I've always had this disconnect, where it takes some embarrassing event for me to see that I've hurt someone's feelings or missed some important social cue. Therefore, I'm shy and often awkward. I say inappropriate or down right stupid things. At times I talk about myself or my views an inordinate amount in an attempt to excuse or explain myself.  I turn people off, sometimes right away and other times after a while. I'm also a disorganized, flakey, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants person. Some people love me because I'm a wacko, others love me despite it, and most people that figure it out steer clear, or I steer clear of people, I'm not sure which.

The trouble is, I'm socially aware enough to know that I'm not a good friend, good acquaintance and an overall socially adept person. I've tried to remedy these things, particularly my propensity for flakeyness and disorganization (which oddly enough are qualities specific to my social life, not my work life), as I want to be a better friend. However, I always find myself back where I was, and now that I'm a parent I don't much have the motivation to pump energy into self improvement.

Aye, there's the rub. I'm a parent; an example. How do I raise a socially adept, timely thank-you card writing, empathetic person when I am not that way?

Big Food

MLO has begun to eat chunky foods. I started by scooping the butternut squash and sweet potato out and just mashing it a little and processing his green beans to a relish consistency instead of a puree. I also chopped his banana into matchstick width cubes. Our pediatrician suggested we start meats at 9 months and told me not to bother pureeing them. His words were, "Would you want to eat that stuff? Ick. Just chop it up fine, and feed him what you're eating that night."

MLO has always been a robust eater, so the change in consistency didn't phase him. I try to mix things into his cereal to expose him to different texture experiences, but I've heard many people say that method works well for getting a picky eater to progress out of purees. MLO has since tried chunked up green beans (which he ate with his hands and to which he seemed to have a topical allergy), chopped and steamed baby carrots and broccoli. I get a kick our of letting him feed himself; it allows me to do some dishes while he enjoys his meal. He enjoys playing with the food and carefully chooses different veggies from his options. He seemed to prefer the carrots to the green beans.

Today we will try pork. He has eaten chicken plenty and had some ground beef before the crazy allergy scare, but I haven't reintroduced it. A few days ago I introduced mandarin. I've heard conflicting things about when to introduce citrus, but I had it, and some sources say 10 months is fine, so we tried it. I have these nifty feeders that allow baby to suck and chew on food in a little mesh holder. I stuck a few wedges of mandarin in the bag and let him go at it. At first he made a face, but he persevered. Yesterday he looked blissful, chomping and sucking on that thing. I also tried a new recipe with him yesterday that he seemed to love:

Pear Yogurt
1. a few good sized globs of pasteurized plain whole milk yogurt (no sugar added)
2. half a semi-ripe pear, shredded
3. a pinch of cinnamon

I had some and it tasted delicious. I want to raise a child with a broad and experimental pallet. MLO's love of food should make that a simple task; it's really up to me to introduce unique textures and flavors. Speaking of which, I made chicken for him the other afternoon that was pretty damn spicy. I used my father-in-law's patented Spicy Southern Seasoning and thought I had significantly dulled it with flour. Not so! MLO ate it no problem mixed with his cereal or beans while I was gone. Surprisingly, it didn't seem to bother him coming out the other end, either. When I returned I tried the chicken and found myself nearly breaking a sweat. That's my boy! 

The Break

I just returned from my first baby free weekend. The inspiration came from Hubby. MLO is now well over the 10.5 month mark and I've been feeling really isolated, overwhelmed and generally sad, so Hubby suggested that I get away for the weekend. My sister lives in San Francisco, so I packed up on Friday and headed up.

I spent the preceding days doing laundry and prepping food so that MLO would be clothed and more easily fed. I didn't have any breast milk stored up, so Hubby fed MLO a bottle of formula in the mornings and late afternoon in addition to the baby's usual meals of solid food. I wanted the experience to be as easy for Hubby as I could make it.

As I got into my car on Friday I had a substantial knot in my stomach. What if I hadn't made enough food? What if MLO threw a fit about the formula? What have I forgotten? What am I going to do without him? Though I wanted to have a weekend to myself, complete with the luxuries of sleeping past 6am and allowing myself to get a good buzz on before 6pm, I really hated the thought of being away from my baby. I've been kind of a wreck lately, though, and knew that making some space for myself and what I wanted to do, giving very little thought to catering to someone else, would help me refresh and regenerate.

So off I went. I arrived in the city mid-afternoon and proceeded to have a thoroughly enjoyable weekend. We ate good food, went climbing, had a fabulous yin yoga class, ate more good food, shopped and ate still more good food. Hubby and I talked a couple of times a day on speaker phone so that MLO and I could hear each other. He sent me multiple pictures a day, so I didn't feel completely out of touch. I ached for my baby, but not nearly so badly as I thought I would. My sister and her husband made me feel like I was on a luxury vacation so that helped me relax and just enjoy the moment.

 MLO was a good boy for his daddy, and they had fun watching tractors and hanging with grandma, grandpa, aunty and uncle over the weekend. While I was away, MLO started to take some independent steps. This morning I got to witness his fledgling attempts at walking. The weekend went so well, in fact, that Hubby suggested I do this more often. I think I'll take him up on it. A nice monthly (or every other month)trip out of town to visit friends would be a grounding experience, while allowing me to reconnect with the friends I miss so much. It's hard for me to stay connected to people when I live far away (I loath the phone and online social networking) and I find it even more challenging now that I'm a mom. I remembered this weekend that I'm more than wife and mom and I would like to give that other part of me some attention, too.

Baby Love

First of all, I have to say "thank you" to Dakota for inviting me to post on her blog. It's been great fun getting insight from her on daily baby life, whether through talk or reading her blog. It truly helps to confer when you become a parent, especially to help keep your sanity - with not just your husband, but family and friends, too.


My baby, J, is 6 months old now, and since his birth I have just been in utter baby love. I never knew such a love. He was a surprise in every way - unplanned pregnancy and we didn't know that we were having a boy either. I like surprises as my hubs would say. My pregnancy was bliss, but my labor not so much. It was long, but I got through most of it without pain medication, which is what I wanted. After about 17 hours of hard labor with no change and just an hour and a half of sleep in 34 hours, we decided that I would get an epidural. Once I received the light epidural, my hubs and I got 2 hours of what felt like really deep sleep! Even better, once I woke up I was ready to go!! Then came our reason for living. We brought J home a day later and I just wanted to kiss him all over. Seriously, I wanted to kiss him non-stop. Perhaps, the overwhelming amount of hormones rising and falling in my body pursued me to want to make out with my son? This never-ending experience has made me feel so fortunate and I will continue to each and every day for our sweet boy.


J has been a pretty happy and mellow baby for us - easy to nurse and smiling early on - but when it comes to sleep he let us know early on what he wanted and that was to be walked and held to sleep. At about 3 months he soothed himself to sleep a few times in his crib, and had also been sleeping up to 9 hours at night, which was fabulous of course. Then that bubble burst and he was waking up 2-4 times a night screaming out of hunger. It wasn't until his 4 month well visit that we found out he grew 3 inches in length in 7 weeks. That was a vaild enough reason for me!


As parents, my hubs and I knew that we wanted to keep doing the things that we loved pre-baby, so we did and are continuing to do so. When J was 3 months old we started to do some small travels, like overnights not too many hours a way. We even took him to his first concert when he was just under 4 months, which was fortunately an accoustic show, and he wore sound-out headphones. He was amazing throughout and just slept as I carried and swayed him in the Ergo - all amidst windy and rainy whether. He was such a sport for his mom and dad. And right after that we did our first camping trip as a family - pretty much where it all began as it was the place where hubs and I got engaged. It was extra special because the campground had just reopened after a big fire 2 years prior.


The second bubble burst a little while after his first big growth spurt. He was indulging in longer night sleeps, until the week of Thanksgiving. I drove J, my dog, and I (poor hubs had to work) to Southern CA to my parents for the night before driving to Arizona to see J's great grandmother for the week. Driving what normally is 3 1/2 hours ended up being 7 hours for nursing stops and J was just plain lonely in the back seat when our dog wasn't standing up to look at him. That night was the first of many more disrupted sleeps, and driving to Arizona the next day was an even longer haul. So, for the past 2 months J has been waking up several times a night to nurse and be held. I thought it was all from travel and that this was the forefront to getting stuck in a rut that could possibly last 10 years (believe me, I am kidding!), but at his last well visit he did have another growth spurt - his head! Yaaa, for his growing brain! I am not worried about his constant night waking, though, and just keep telling myself that I will one day get a full night's sleep. So what if I am half awake when we are having productive bonding and nurturing time! I will miss it someday because they really do grow fast. And I now understand why my dad always told me, "Don't grow up. Stay how you are now," when I was little. I truly want J to stay a baby and in my arms forever. Then again, I miss having more than a glass of wine, and getting up and go for selfish reasons. So perhaps he can stay a baby 6 days a week and then give me one day to not have any responsibilities. If only we could pick and choose in our lives. But he is forever my little boy and I don't want to miss one second of him either.

New Year, New Faces, New Insanity

Exciting news! I've invited a friend of mine to contribute some of her experiences to the site. I will let J's Mama introduce herself, but suffice it to say she's a wonderful mom and a great friend. I would probably have gone crazy if it weren't for her friendship and understanding! Stay tuned for her first post!! (No pressure JM ;)

Speaking of new faces, MLO has moved into and possibly out of the stage of making this hilarious Klingon face. It is in response to everything from happiness to frustration. If not for the myriad weirdos on the internet, I would share it with you. Much like the fearsome Klingons, MLO has begun to yell and scream. He mostly shares this over-vocalization when things simply aren't going his way. Remove him from the dog bowl? Ear-splitting shriek. Take the time to cut up his banana? Repeated angry yelling. Change his diaper? Both. It's really lovely to be yelled at for meeting his needs... all day long... every day.

He finally mastered coming down the stairs, though I would never allow him to do this unsupervised. He moves down feet first, backward. We decided early on that we didn't want to tempt him with gates. Gates present a challenge, and MLO loves nothing more than to do exactly what he knows we don't want him to do. Since I recently noticed him getting a foot up on the middle of a panel of Alcatraz, I decided that our decision was a good one. The last thing we need is a baby taking a header from over a gate at the top of 13 steps. I sometimes wish we had a gate at the bottom so that he were relatively penned in downstairs, but oh well. It keeps me on my toes. He actually took a spill from a few steps up the other day. I was standing a couple of feet from the bottom of the stairs, going over his list of tried solid foods when I glanced up and caught him tumbling down head first into our wood floor. We both freaked out. He was fine, scared but uninjured. I felt like a terrible mother. Of course I know better than to let my 10 month old play around the stairs; he's a fast little bugger and it doesn't take long for him to get much higher up the stairs than one might expect.

He has also begun to wave. This motion is somewhat rudimentary as it mostly consists of a fist in the air with perhaps the addition of a single finger or splayed hand in the direction of whomever's attention he is trying to get. His friend (2-weeks younger than he is) already has waving, clapping and head shaking down, and she has for months.

I've also made what, for me, is a big move. I have officially stopped the regular pumping I've been doing 2-3 times a day for the last 2 months. I hated it. It was restrictive, isolating, and increased the difficulty of caring for MLO when it was just me and him, because I had to pump when I had to pump regardless of whether he was asleep or not. This made tending to his needs and keeping him out of trouble especially challenging. The problem with this decision is that I don't have milk with which to make his cereal, which means that he isn't getting the high calorie, and ultimately nutritionally complete meal he was getting in the past. With his low weight and height I worry that I'm selfishly keeping him from breaking that 5% mark on the growth curve, though he isn't a hungry baby and he is already eating yogurts and cheeses.

Ah, the trials and triumphs of motherhood.

Well, that's the news from Lake Wobegon...

Parenting is not all sunshine and bliss...

and that's ok. I came accross a link to this on Offbeat Mama. These people have it right and say it in a way that is concise and sensical. This video will make you smile. Watch it.

Post Christmas Post

Our little family survived Christmas. We accomplished this in a couple of different ways. First, we are humans and therefore remarkably adaptable and resilient creatures that can handle a vast over abundance of rich foods, too much excitement and too little sleep. Second, we set some ground rules with the gift givers in our lives and third, we made a Christmas list for MLO. These things helped us to get through a holiday saturated with travel, people and merriment.

Holiday Sleep
As parents that want to share the excitement and joy of our baby's first Christmas with the people that love him nearly as much as we do, we agreed to split Christmas between both of our families. Since my folks are half-way between my sister and I and since everyone could stay in their house and only a few people could stay in ours, we travelled the 150 miles or so up to my folks. We arrived

Allergy Update

The results of MLO's allergy test came back today and sure enough, our little peanut is severely allergic to peanuts. Boo. We were told to pretty much just stay away from bakeries, Asian food restaurants and ice cream parlors in addition to carefully avoid any potential cross-contamination of food. I'm bummed that he won't be able to experience the joys of peanut butter and peanut brittle, and I'm apprehensive about having to watch so closely everything he eats for what it's made with and from where it comes. I hope we never have to use that Epipen....