Friday, October 29, 2010
What They Say
Today I decided to break out a couple of my baby books to see if there was anything I was supposed to be doing. I didn't register for the baby classes I took spring and summer because we were going to be out of town so much this month, and I've been wondering lately if there is some critical thing I'm not doing. I recognize that as a perspective of a paranoid self-esteem challenged person, but still, I wanted to be sure.
I did discover something in looking through those baby books; I found out that I am so over them. I realized that they only make me nervous and more paranoid. I did not discover that my son was behind in locomotive or cognitive growth. I did get the overall impression that the books implored me to be more vigilant, less of this and more of that. They served their purpose when I was totally bewildered by this new person I needed to protect and nurture, totally ignorant of what I needed to do. Now that I've been doing this for the better part of 8 months I feel pretty confident that I'm doing a decent job, even though one of the books called me "softhearted and weak-nerved" for my method of sleep training.
I did discover something in looking through those baby books; I found out that I am so over them. I realized that they only make me nervous and more paranoid. I did not discover that my son was behind in locomotive or cognitive growth. I did get the overall impression that the books implored me to be more vigilant, less of this and more of that. They served their purpose when I was totally bewildered by this new person I needed to protect and nurture, totally ignorant of what I needed to do. Now that I've been doing this for the better part of 8 months I feel pretty confident that I'm doing a decent job, even though one of the books called me "softhearted and weak-nerved" for my method of sleep training.
Adventuring
MLO and I went hiking around a local lake yesterday. I strapped him to the front of me with the Ergo and we left at about 3:00, taking a trail that led us up to the ridge above Lopez Lake. The views were amazing and MLO seemed to enjoy looking around. Hubby and I have noticed before that MLO fixates on leaves, particularly those above him, between which he can see the sky. I think he is attracted to the contrast of the bright or dark green against the bright blue. We saw what seemed like a million deer in very close proximity which amused us both. We scared off a young buck and a couple of does on the ridge, while the deer down in the campground hardly moved to get out of our way. The trail led to a quiet little fern lined gully where MLO and I stopped to take in the scenery. He and I were both looking around when we made eye contact and grinned at each other. We had a nice little moment there. Shortly thereafter we had a red tailed hawk fly over and land in the tree behind us. The air smelled invigorating. A recent rain made the air humid and fresh while the heat from the sun gave it a baked quality. I found it refreshing to tromp around the woods in the quiet and breathe the clean air, particularly after having spent so much time lately in the car. I did have some misgivings about hiking alone in what became a more remote journey than I anticipated. A ranger did know what trail I had taken, so I didn't feel totally irresponsible. Where pre-baby Dakota would have hiked alone with only a small warning in my mind, yesterday I had to fight a terrible level of apprehension about two legged snakes or the mountain lion that could jump out at any moment. How would I fight off a mountain lion with a baby strapped to my chest? What if it injured MLO? Of course these are ridiculous thoughts; a mountain lion could easily take me down, baby or no. Fundamentally, I felt guilty for not travelling in a pack, but dammit, I didn't have anyone to go with and I wanted to be outside on a trail breathing that fresh air and pointing out the monkey flower and sage to my son.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
The Surprises
There were many things I didn't expect when MLO was born. Here are a few I thought worth sharing:
- Newborns/infants are incredibly noisy when they sleep. They snort and squeak all night long. Don't let it freak you out.
- People weren't speaking figuratively when they said that the first few months of your child's life you act like a crazy person. Sleep deprivation is a serious business and it takes its toll.
- The 5 S's saved my life: swaddle, shoosh, side-lay, suck (not you, the baby- on a pacifier) and shimmy.
- Newborns can take up to an hour to nurse. At first it can seem like all you do is feed your baby. The length of time you nurse coupled with the frequent feedings can really cut down on your sleep. If you can sleep-nurse at the beginning, do it. If you are interested in doing that but afraid of rolling on baby, check out a co-sleeper.
- People you hardly know are happy for you, new life just brings the best out in people. You will probably end up with lots of gifts, and since some of these gift-givers don't know you well you may end up with things that aren't your taste. In that case, remember that someone chose that item for you with the idea of supporting you and celebrating your little one. To honor that kindness, be gracious and find a place for it. If you can't or won't use it, donate it.
- Consumer Reports and Consumersearch.com are invaluable, but not all informative.
- The first couple of months without a real smile are tough. You sacrifice sleep, fun, and sanity for your baby and the most you get is not crying. Once your little one smiles on purpose, you know the true meaning of joy.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
The Daily Grind Returns
Sorry for the Hiatus!
MLO and I have finally returned home after much back and forth up to my folks' place about 2.5 hours away. My best friend and my sister both got married two weeks apart in our home town area and I had the distinction of serving as matron of honor in both weddings. I had a blast helping out and participating in two amazingly beautiful ceremonies and MLO had a blast being spoiled utterly rotten by my fam.
In this last trip up my parents' house was full of my aunts, uncles and cousins, brothers and sister, grandma and two dogs. MLO got passed around from willing relation to willing relation and to my knowledge impressed everyone with his happy disposition and hilarious babbling. I really feel very fortunate that a) I have such a well behaved baby b) I have such an amazing family to take over caring for MLO while I assembled floral arrangements, ran errands and got myself into pretty mode and c) I have a husband that managed to keep his head amidst the insanity.
If MLO threw a fit I wasn't around to see it. He napped relatively well, considering, but had some difficulty at night (although he was allowed to stay up much later than usual... see the end of paragraph one). MLO, Hubby and I got home Sunday and by Monday we were all sick. MLO occasionally cries and touches his throat with a confused look which makes me feel terrible. Other than that he has some minor congestion and seems to hardly notice that he is under the weather. We have read most of 'Bambi' in the last few days as a way to get him to be still and rest. Except in the car seat, I haven't seen him be still this much since he was an infant.
MLO's new favorite thing is to stand up. He requires help: the couch, a door (eek), my pants (which are not always secured... ahem), the drawer pulls, his 'crate' walls. But he loves to stand up and look around and shuffle his feet. As for his 'crate', we got one of those play yards by North States and unfortunately he hates it. He stands up, grasps the walls and wails in his most pitiful tone, "Ababababa!" I find it rather heartbreaking. As far as I've heard, though, he only hates it when I'm around, otherwise he plays happily in it while other people read or do chores. Lucky me.
I think we are going to start him on barley this week. It's time for a new carbohydrate and I think oatmeal has become a bit worn out.
Be sure to check out the poll....
Cheers!
MLO and I have finally returned home after much back and forth up to my folks' place about 2.5 hours away. My best friend and my sister both got married two weeks apart in our home town area and I had the distinction of serving as matron of honor in both weddings. I had a blast helping out and participating in two amazingly beautiful ceremonies and MLO had a blast being spoiled utterly rotten by my fam.
In this last trip up my parents' house was full of my aunts, uncles and cousins, brothers and sister, grandma and two dogs. MLO got passed around from willing relation to willing relation and to my knowledge impressed everyone with his happy disposition and hilarious babbling. I really feel very fortunate that a) I have such a well behaved baby b) I have such an amazing family to take over caring for MLO while I assembled floral arrangements, ran errands and got myself into pretty mode and c) I have a husband that managed to keep his head amidst the insanity.
If MLO threw a fit I wasn't around to see it. He napped relatively well, considering, but had some difficulty at night (although he was allowed to stay up much later than usual... see the end of paragraph one). MLO, Hubby and I got home Sunday and by Monday we were all sick. MLO occasionally cries and touches his throat with a confused look which makes me feel terrible. Other than that he has some minor congestion and seems to hardly notice that he is under the weather. We have read most of 'Bambi' in the last few days as a way to get him to be still and rest. Except in the car seat, I haven't seen him be still this much since he was an infant.
MLO's new favorite thing is to stand up. He requires help: the couch, a door (eek), my pants (which are not always secured... ahem), the drawer pulls, his 'crate' walls. But he loves to stand up and look around and shuffle his feet. As for his 'crate', we got one of those play yards by North States and unfortunately he hates it. He stands up, grasps the walls and wails in his most pitiful tone, "Ababababa!" I find it rather heartbreaking. As far as I've heard, though, he only hates it when I'm around, otherwise he plays happily in it while other people read or do chores. Lucky me.
I think we are going to start him on barley this week. It's time for a new carbohydrate and I think oatmeal has become a bit worn out.
Be sure to check out the poll....
Cheers!
Velcro is Evil
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Don't buy bibs with Velcro. Velcro is the bane of baby clothes, blankets, hats, and all other washable cloth baby products. If left unattached, the Velcro inevitably ends up sticking to some lovely satin trim, plush toy or fine garment, resulting in a permanently marred object of former beauty. It seems that even when I put those Velcro bibs in the wash firmly closed, I find them open and clinging to some article of clothing or custom made gift. I hate Velcro bibs with the passionate burning of a thousand suns. I implore you, buy bibs with snaps.
Don't buy bibs with Velcro. Velcro is the bane of baby clothes, blankets, hats, and all other washable cloth baby products. If left unattached, the Velcro inevitably ends up sticking to some lovely satin trim, plush toy or fine garment, resulting in a permanently marred object of former beauty. It seems that even when I put those Velcro bibs in the wash firmly closed, I find them open and clinging to some article of clothing or custom made gift. I hate Velcro bibs with the passionate burning of a thousand suns. I implore you, buy bibs with snaps.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Los Perros y Bebe
Los Perros...
Long before we had a baby, we had dogs. My Hubby's first love was a blond Pomeranian named Wookie who owned him rather than the other way around. She accepted me enough to sit on my lap around the camp fire (a HUGE compliment) and Hubby took that as her blessing on our relationship. We then obtained a pit bull-Boston terrier-mix we dubbed Jack Rabbit (Jacky, for short). She became my baby girl. We both had a propensity for crazy making and ridiculous behaviour in general so we bonded over our shared spaz status.
To our immense sorrow both dogs passed away unexpectedly within a few months of each other some years back. Hubby was then home alone as I was away at grad school, so we decided to adopt a couple of needy orphans very shortly after our loss. Hubby had heard about an old fellow that, "Just needed a quiet place to die." This ancient Manchester terrier apparently had only a few months left in him and was in a rescue home with something like 12 other dogs (all of them Pomeranians, as it turns out). Hubby went to meet this Ricky and they clicked, at least, the dog didn't attempt to maul him when he picked Rick up out of the cloud of Poms that enveloped Hubby when he stepped onto the property. As the Hubster visited with the crotchety old man a young loner Pom began to stand out from the crowd and much to the rescuer's surprise Snoopy, this young Pom, decided to befriend Hubby.
These 2 dogs came to us with unfortunate histories. Rick had been abandoned in Lincoln, Nebraska and had shuffled from home to home until he landed on the Central Coast of California. As far as we could tell, Rick was passed from gullible patsy to gullible patsy. One of his more charming habits is of urinating in the house to express his displeasure. He has, quite possibly, the most grotesque smelling breath on the planet. When he licks himself (as he does incessantly) I think to myself, "Who let the Komodo Dragon in the house?" He sadly suffers from severe separation anxiety, so as you move around the house, for instance to clean, he has to be within 24 inches of you. That is particularly fun when you are sleep deprived and carrying an infant in your arms across a wood floor. He is terribly uncoordinated, so he'll find himself on his back after trying desperately to change directions when you have made a snap decision to turn around. Want to close the door when you take a poop? Forget about it. After you've cleaned yourself up you are pretty much guaranteed to have a puddle of Ricky pee to clean up, which smells almost as good as his breath. If there is a God and he/she loves dogs we are definitely going to Heaven (at least Hubby is).
Snoopy has a differently tragic history. A family purchased him from a breeder and subsequently put him in a crate, where he largely remained for the first three years of his life. He played with himself or with children through the bars of his crate and the family changed the newspaper he lived on when he made a mess. He had never been outside and had never met another dog until the owners decided to give him to the rescue as they were renovating the house and no longer wanted him. Needless to say his upbringing had given him some trust issues, hence the rescuer's surprise when he took to the Hubster.
So here we are, nearly 4 years after we adopted these dogs and Ricky's still alive (and very loving and kind, despite his insanity) and Snoopy is now a well adjusted, well socialized dog. The dogs and I had grown quite close after I moved back and wrote my thesis from home. In the last months of my pregnancy I bonded as much as I could with the dogs, knowing that things were about to get challenging. I had no idea.
...Y Bebe
After MLO was born things started out difficult because we basically spent the first week at the hospital. We brought home blankies that the baby had slept with so the dogs could smell him and they seemed intrigued. Neither Hubby nor I were terribly available, though, and they definitely noticed. When we brought MLO home Ricky seemed interested, but not overly. Snoopy nearly turned himself inside out sniffing, tail wagging, trying to lick and guard the baby from the harmless, and only mildly intrigued Ricky.
For me, and much to my chagrin, things went downhill rapidly. The dogs were fed up with being ignored, and they needed some assurance that we still loved them. Ricky would cry and run loudly around the bed long before I planned on waking up. Every time I turned around he was underfoot. Snoopy would try to get between me and MLO when I tried to nurse. Dead tired, and with little patience for anyone but the baby, I started to lash out at the dogs. I would yell at them, send them away with a flailing hand or foot, I stopped smiling at them, I stopped petting them. Basically, I didn't want anything to do with them; all they did was annoy me.
I love my dogs. I can't believe how much my attitude toward them changed. Things are much better now, but the relationships are not back to pre-baby normalcy. Snoopy, despite his continued jealousy, does not lash out at me or the baby. He still protects MLO when we go camping and the baby is napping in the tent. Ricky and I still have some issues, but he has allowed MLO to pet him and even occasionally wags his tail in response to the baby. I have to really stop and work at being nice, which still surprises me.
I never expected this type of animosity on my part. Despite my bad attitude the dogs have remained largely well behaved, a testament to their love for us and their general good nature. I worry that my impatience will influence MLO and his behavior toward the dogs and that concern has served as a great motivator to get my act together. I remain embarrassed by my behavior, and recognize it as a weakness of my character. Unfortunately, when it comes right down to it I only have so much patience and MLO remains my top priority, then Hubby, then the Dogs. I have to work on growing some patience.
Long before we had a baby, we had dogs. My Hubby's first love was a blond Pomeranian named Wookie who owned him rather than the other way around. She accepted me enough to sit on my lap around the camp fire (a HUGE compliment) and Hubby took that as her blessing on our relationship. We then obtained a pit bull-Boston terrier-mix we dubbed Jack Rabbit (Jacky, for short). She became my baby girl. We both had a propensity for crazy making and ridiculous behaviour in general so we bonded over our shared spaz status.
To our immense sorrow both dogs passed away unexpectedly within a few months of each other some years back. Hubby was then home alone as I was away at grad school, so we decided to adopt a couple of needy orphans very shortly after our loss. Hubby had heard about an old fellow that, "Just needed a quiet place to die." This ancient Manchester terrier apparently had only a few months left in him and was in a rescue home with something like 12 other dogs (all of them Pomeranians, as it turns out). Hubby went to meet this Ricky and they clicked, at least, the dog didn't attempt to maul him when he picked Rick up out of the cloud of Poms that enveloped Hubby when he stepped onto the property. As the Hubster visited with the crotchety old man a young loner Pom began to stand out from the crowd and much to the rescuer's surprise Snoopy, this young Pom, decided to befriend Hubby.
These 2 dogs came to us with unfortunate histories. Rick had been abandoned in Lincoln, Nebraska and had shuffled from home to home until he landed on the Central Coast of California. As far as we could tell, Rick was passed from gullible patsy to gullible patsy. One of his more charming habits is of urinating in the house to express his displeasure. He has, quite possibly, the most grotesque smelling breath on the planet. When he licks himself (as he does incessantly) I think to myself, "Who let the Komodo Dragon in the house?" He sadly suffers from severe separation anxiety, so as you move around the house, for instance to clean, he has to be within 24 inches of you. That is particularly fun when you are sleep deprived and carrying an infant in your arms across a wood floor. He is terribly uncoordinated, so he'll find himself on his back after trying desperately to change directions when you have made a snap decision to turn around. Want to close the door when you take a poop? Forget about it. After you've cleaned yourself up you are pretty much guaranteed to have a puddle of Ricky pee to clean up, which smells almost as good as his breath. If there is a God and he/she loves dogs we are definitely going to Heaven (at least Hubby is).
Snoopy has a differently tragic history. A family purchased him from a breeder and subsequently put him in a crate, where he largely remained for the first three years of his life. He played with himself or with children through the bars of his crate and the family changed the newspaper he lived on when he made a mess. He had never been outside and had never met another dog until the owners decided to give him to the rescue as they were renovating the house and no longer wanted him. Needless to say his upbringing had given him some trust issues, hence the rescuer's surprise when he took to the Hubster.
So here we are, nearly 4 years after we adopted these dogs and Ricky's still alive (and very loving and kind, despite his insanity) and Snoopy is now a well adjusted, well socialized dog. The dogs and I had grown quite close after I moved back and wrote my thesis from home. In the last months of my pregnancy I bonded as much as I could with the dogs, knowing that things were about to get challenging. I had no idea.
...Y Bebe
After MLO was born things started out difficult because we basically spent the first week at the hospital. We brought home blankies that the baby had slept with so the dogs could smell him and they seemed intrigued. Neither Hubby nor I were terribly available, though, and they definitely noticed. When we brought MLO home Ricky seemed interested, but not overly. Snoopy nearly turned himself inside out sniffing, tail wagging, trying to lick and guard the baby from the harmless, and only mildly intrigued Ricky.
For me, and much to my chagrin, things went downhill rapidly. The dogs were fed up with being ignored, and they needed some assurance that we still loved them. Ricky would cry and run loudly around the bed long before I planned on waking up. Every time I turned around he was underfoot. Snoopy would try to get between me and MLO when I tried to nurse. Dead tired, and with little patience for anyone but the baby, I started to lash out at the dogs. I would yell at them, send them away with a flailing hand or foot, I stopped smiling at them, I stopped petting them. Basically, I didn't want anything to do with them; all they did was annoy me.
I love my dogs. I can't believe how much my attitude toward them changed. Things are much better now, but the relationships are not back to pre-baby normalcy. Snoopy, despite his continued jealousy, does not lash out at me or the baby. He still protects MLO when we go camping and the baby is napping in the tent. Ricky and I still have some issues, but he has allowed MLO to pet him and even occasionally wags his tail in response to the baby. I have to really stop and work at being nice, which still surprises me.
I never expected this type of animosity on my part. Despite my bad attitude the dogs have remained largely well behaved, a testament to their love for us and their general good nature. I worry that my impatience will influence MLO and his behavior toward the dogs and that concern has served as a great motivator to get my act together. I remain embarrassed by my behavior, and recognize it as a weakness of my character. Unfortunately, when it comes right down to it I only have so much patience and MLO remains my top priority, then Hubby, then the Dogs. I have to work on growing some patience.
 |
| Ricky and Snoop Dog |
Friday, October 15, 2010
Who is this baby and what have you done with MLO?
MLO is famously a mellow, happy child. Hubby and I have often remarked on our profoundly good luck that we conceived such an easy baby. MLO smiles readily, has a quiet temper and cries rarely. Well, he used to be that way.
MLO has changed enormously in the last month. He has started crawling, eating solid foods and trying to stand up. He has also started throwing fits: screaming, crying so hard that he loses his breath, slamming his feet on his bed. He does this in response to my putting him down, to my trying to get him to sleep, to a delay in food presentation, sometimes to no stimulus that I recognize at all. So, who is this baby and what has he done with my son?
How does a 7 month old get to the point where he acts like a spoiled brat? He's only been sentient 4 months. It isn't as though I jump at his every cry or let him languish, wailing in his crib. There are several other factors that may be at play. Even though there are no teeth peeking out yet, I know he has to be teething. He drools like crazy and constantly rubs his gums. We have been travelling frequently and in the last 8 days have driven over 650 miles. Last week there were a couple of days he spent with family while I tended to some other obligations. I also chopped my hair recently and look very different. Does discomfort, a disruption of routine, a relative lack of mommy for a couple of days, and a physical change in mommy translate to angry, angry baby? Could this be simply a phase that he's going through, a developmental step that I didn't see coming? Is there anything I can do?
MLO has changed enormously in the last month. He has started crawling, eating solid foods and trying to stand up. He has also started throwing fits: screaming, crying so hard that he loses his breath, slamming his feet on his bed. He does this in response to my putting him down, to my trying to get him to sleep, to a delay in food presentation, sometimes to no stimulus that I recognize at all. So, who is this baby and what has he done with my son?
How does a 7 month old get to the point where he acts like a spoiled brat? He's only been sentient 4 months. It isn't as though I jump at his every cry or let him languish, wailing in his crib. There are several other factors that may be at play. Even though there are no teeth peeking out yet, I know he has to be teething. He drools like crazy and constantly rubs his gums. We have been travelling frequently and in the last 8 days have driven over 650 miles. Last week there were a couple of days he spent with family while I tended to some other obligations. I also chopped my hair recently and look very different. Does discomfort, a disruption of routine, a relative lack of mommy for a couple of days, and a physical change in mommy translate to angry, angry baby? Could this be simply a phase that he's going through, a developmental step that I didn't see coming? Is there anything I can do?
Monday, October 11, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
Sleep Wars Episode III
So the night before last MLO awoke again around 3. I changed him and rocked him for a bit but he didn't seem tired. He wasn't fussy, just awake. So I put him in his crib and went back to bed. That did not last. He was quiet for a while, then began to fuss, then began to ball. I went in a couple of times to lay him back down, soothe him, and hold his arms for a bit to get him to hold still long enough for him to realize his own exhaustion. It took a long time for him to go to sleep, and before I knew it, he was up crying again (5:30) and out of exasperation and exhaustion I fed him. Unfortunately, nursing him did not do the trick. He stayed awake playing in his crib for another hour before finally falling asleep on his own.
He and I have left town for a few days so we have postponed sleep training for now. There is no reason to push the issue with him sleeping in a travel crib and in an unfamiliar room. Hopefully this doesn't throw us off course, and if it does, oh well.
He and I have left town for a few days so we have postponed sleep training for now. There is no reason to push the issue with him sleeping in a travel crib and in an unfamiliar room. Hopefully this doesn't throw us off course, and if it does, oh well.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Sleep Wars Episode II
So MLO has generally napped better since learning to crawl and since starting solid foods. Alternatively, he has had a harder time going to sleep. I removed his bumper from the crib as he started pulling himself up on the rails and I didn't want him launching himself over. Now that he can see out the sides from a laying position he just wants to play. He will spend over an hour crawling around his crib, pulling himself up and whining even though he is clearly exhausted. I don't get it.
Last night I made an interesting discovery that I think is related to both solid food and cloth diapers. Since MLO has started on solids he seems more likely to go longer at night before wanting to eat, no big surprise there. Also, he urinates less as he doesn't consume milk before going to bed. Since he stopped wetting so heavily we recently decided to go back to cloth diapering at night. As such, when he wakes up to nurse I have been changing him before-hand to be sure that he gets changed before nodding off while nursing. Last night he awoke at 12:45 and 5:30, both times giving his usual cry of' "Come feed me, dammit!" I put him on the changing table and he threw a fit, as usual. By the time his diaper was changed (it takes me a bit longer with cloth than with disposables) he was no longer upset. In fact, he didn't seem hungry. I rocked him in the chair for a bit before putting him back in bed and he was fine both times. He did end up whining again around 6, so I got up and fed him and off to sleep he went.
So, what does this mean? Well it might mean nothing. MLO has gone through the night without nursing (or waking, for that matter) before, and nothing changed in the long term. Though, I have to wonder if the waking and going back to sleep with no nursing is a step for us. He is used to nursing once at night, and I suspect he uses that more to get back to sleep than to quench thirst or fill an empty achy tummy. If I can get him back to sleep without nursing him, maybe we are closer to getting himself back to sleep. Again, we could let him cry it out, but I'm just not comfortable with that. We have tried it before and it ends up making us all miserable for an hour or longer. So we will see. Any of you experienced moms have any suggestions/observations to share?
Last night I made an interesting discovery that I think is related to both solid food and cloth diapers. Since MLO has started on solids he seems more likely to go longer at night before wanting to eat, no big surprise there. Also, he urinates less as he doesn't consume milk before going to bed. Since he stopped wetting so heavily we recently decided to go back to cloth diapering at night. As such, when he wakes up to nurse I have been changing him before-hand to be sure that he gets changed before nodding off while nursing. Last night he awoke at 12:45 and 5:30, both times giving his usual cry of' "Come feed me, dammit!" I put him on the changing table and he threw a fit, as usual. By the time his diaper was changed (it takes me a bit longer with cloth than with disposables) he was no longer upset. In fact, he didn't seem hungry. I rocked him in the chair for a bit before putting him back in bed and he was fine both times. He did end up whining again around 6, so I got up and fed him and off to sleep he went.
So, what does this mean? Well it might mean nothing. MLO has gone through the night without nursing (or waking, for that matter) before, and nothing changed in the long term. Though, I have to wonder if the waking and going back to sleep with no nursing is a step for us. He is used to nursing once at night, and I suspect he uses that more to get back to sleep than to quench thirst or fill an empty achy tummy. If I can get him back to sleep without nursing him, maybe we are closer to getting himself back to sleep. Again, we could let him cry it out, but I'm just not comfortable with that. We have tried it before and it ends up making us all miserable for an hour or longer. So we will see. Any of you experienced moms have any suggestions/observations to share?
Cloth Diapering (and Wiping) Made Easy
After the first few weeks of parenthood you realize what an incredible number of diapers a child goes through in a day. The thought of years of diapers going into a landfill made Hubby and I look for an alternative. None of our peers used cloth diapers and most of our friend's kids are in elementary school, so we really didn't know what cloth diapering was all about. We sought an easy, low impact way to use cloth diapers and found it in a diaper service.
When I first started researching diaper services I didn't think paying someone to pick up and clean our diapers would be economical. I saw cloth diapering as a luxury afforded to people with lots of time and lots of money, the same way wealthy, green-minded people have prohibitively expensive sustainable or repurposed countertops. The service we came upon couldn't make cloth diapering easier at a totally reasonable price. We spend the same amount on cloth diapers that we would on regular diapers in a month.
The service provides prefold diapers in varying quantities and sizes. There are tons of ways to fold these diapers to meet your child's needs. Once the diaper is folded it can be secured with a device called a Snappi, which negates the use of diaper pins. The diaper is then covered with a diaper cover that holds everything in. We receive 1 delivery a week of clean prefold diapers and keep the dirties in a diaper pale until delivery/pickup day rolls around. We own the diaper covers, but the service (and some websites) offer a buyback program so that you can trade up when baby outgrows the cover. The owner met with us when MLO was just a week old and helped us figure out how many diapers to get and showed us how to fold them. She gave us great one-on-one attention and tips. Whenever something comes up all I have to do is call and she is always flexible. Additionally, the service has a gift registry option, so if you are expecting you can sign up for them and register for a few months of service. I love that idea because it allows you to try it out on somebody elses dime! As you can tell, our experience has been stellar.
We also use reusable wipes. When I was pregnant I thought reusable wipes went a bit far, but MLO had really sensitive skin and the doctor recommended we wipe him up with just a wet washcloth. We received a glut of washcloths that we now use as wipes. This has worked out amazingly well. I do a couple of small loads of diaper associated laundry a week to wash the covers and the 'wipes' and I don't have a big problem with running out of wipes or with a bucket of stinky cloths.
I do have a couple of issues with using the prefold system: the covers (and I suspect the diaper itself) tend to leave red marks on MLO and the covers use velcro to fasten, which can lose grip over time. Baby can also unfasten velcro more easily than snaps. For these reasons I looked into the fancy pocket diapering system called FuzziBunz. These are a fleece cover which secures with snaps and has a special highly absorbent insert. I love that the surface contacting MLO's skin remains dry. Since they are super pricey (almost $18 for ONE diaper/insert) I only own the one diaper. I would like to use them at night, but I haven't found a good used diaper deal on them yet. Hubby considers the prefolds wasteful as both the cover and the insert need to be washed after each use, unlike the Bummis covers we use with prefolds. Also, the service doesn't cover our personal diapers so I would have to wash them all myself, which would be ok, I think. Check out Diaperpin.com for an interesting rating system and forums they have for how-tos and FAQs about pocket diapers, prefolds and reusable wipes.
When we are out and about I do use disposables because I want to be able to just get rid of the dirties. I have had great success with Seventh Generation diapers. I get more of these for less than I can get the Huggies Pure and Natural diapers and I think they work just as well. The Seventh Generation diapers are made without chlorine and with wood pulp and therefore are more environmentally friendly than your typical diaper. Additionally, they are hypoallergenic and fragrance free. When I wanted to experiment with new diapers I wrote to them and they sent me free samples to try in all sorts of different sizes. They were hugely helpful and they make a great product. When we are on the go I also use conventional wipes. We started out using Pampers Sensitive wipes which are also hypoallergenic and fragrance free. I debated switching to the Seventh Generation wipes but I can buy the Pampers in bulk and with MLO's sensitive skin I'm afraid to switch. I would need more than a few from a free sample to know whether the new wipes irritate his skin and I just don't want to risk it.
As you can see, there are lots of diapering options out there. Having a baby doesn't necessarily mean you have to significantly contribute to the massive amount of plastic in landfills, nor does it mean that you have to spend a fortune on cloth diapering.
When I first started researching diaper services I didn't think paying someone to pick up and clean our diapers would be economical. I saw cloth diapering as a luxury afforded to people with lots of time and lots of money, the same way wealthy, green-minded people have prohibitively expensive sustainable or repurposed countertops. The service we came upon couldn't make cloth diapering easier at a totally reasonable price. We spend the same amount on cloth diapers that we would on regular diapers in a month.
The service provides prefold diapers in varying quantities and sizes. There are tons of ways to fold these diapers to meet your child's needs. Once the diaper is folded it can be secured with a device called a Snappi, which negates the use of diaper pins. The diaper is then covered with a diaper cover that holds everything in. We receive 1 delivery a week of clean prefold diapers and keep the dirties in a diaper pale until delivery/pickup day rolls around. We own the diaper covers, but the service (and some websites) offer a buyback program so that you can trade up when baby outgrows the cover. The owner met with us when MLO was just a week old and helped us figure out how many diapers to get and showed us how to fold them. She gave us great one-on-one attention and tips. Whenever something comes up all I have to do is call and she is always flexible. Additionally, the service has a gift registry option, so if you are expecting you can sign up for them and register for a few months of service. I love that idea because it allows you to try it out on somebody elses dime! As you can tell, our experience has been stellar.
We also use reusable wipes. When I was pregnant I thought reusable wipes went a bit far, but MLO had really sensitive skin and the doctor recommended we wipe him up with just a wet washcloth. We received a glut of washcloths that we now use as wipes. This has worked out amazingly well. I do a couple of small loads of diaper associated laundry a week to wash the covers and the 'wipes' and I don't have a big problem with running out of wipes or with a bucket of stinky cloths.
I do have a couple of issues with using the prefold system: the covers (and I suspect the diaper itself) tend to leave red marks on MLO and the covers use velcro to fasten, which can lose grip over time. Baby can also unfasten velcro more easily than snaps. For these reasons I looked into the fancy pocket diapering system called FuzziBunz. These are a fleece cover which secures with snaps and has a special highly absorbent insert. I love that the surface contacting MLO's skin remains dry. Since they are super pricey (almost $18 for ONE diaper/insert) I only own the one diaper. I would like to use them at night, but I haven't found a good used diaper deal on them yet. Hubby considers the prefolds wasteful as both the cover and the insert need to be washed after each use, unlike the Bummis covers we use with prefolds. Also, the service doesn't cover our personal diapers so I would have to wash them all myself, which would be ok, I think. Check out Diaperpin.com for an interesting rating system and forums they have for how-tos and FAQs about pocket diapers, prefolds and reusable wipes.
When we are out and about I do use disposables because I want to be able to just get rid of the dirties. I have had great success with Seventh Generation diapers. I get more of these for less than I can get the Huggies Pure and Natural diapers and I think they work just as well. The Seventh Generation diapers are made without chlorine and with wood pulp and therefore are more environmentally friendly than your typical diaper. Additionally, they are hypoallergenic and fragrance free. When I wanted to experiment with new diapers I wrote to them and they sent me free samples to try in all sorts of different sizes. They were hugely helpful and they make a great product. When we are on the go I also use conventional wipes. We started out using Pampers Sensitive wipes which are also hypoallergenic and fragrance free. I debated switching to the Seventh Generation wipes but I can buy the Pampers in bulk and with MLO's sensitive skin I'm afraid to switch. I would need more than a few from a free sample to know whether the new wipes irritate his skin and I just don't want to risk it.
As you can see, there are lots of diapering options out there. Having a baby doesn't necessarily mean you have to significantly contribute to the massive amount of plastic in landfills, nor does it mean that you have to spend a fortune on cloth diapering.
Monday, October 4, 2010
A Note About Carrots
Apparently, carrots (beets, broccoli, cabbage, celery, collard greens, lettuce, spinach and turnips, too) have or can have high levels of nitrates. These compounds can be converted to nitrite, which can bind iron in the blood, rendering the iron unable to carry oxygen. Anemia may result if a person consumes enough nitrates. Infants are especially susceptible to nitrate toxicity because of differences in gut flora (the bugs in your intestines that convert certain nutrients) and because of certain enzymes that they have less of than adults do (Greer et al.). The University of Maine cooperative extension suggests limiting intake to 1-2 tablespoons per serving.
The Daily Grind
This is has been a huge month for our family. MLO has become a champ at eating solid foods, pooping real, human poop, crawling, and climbing.
We started solid food with oatmeal instead of the traditional rice cereal on a recommendation from our doc. We have successfully tried banana, butternut squash, and carrots. I'm making the baby food myself which is so easy. I use some ice cube trays with lids to freeze the pureed food into serving sizes and it works great. MLO is eating 2 meals of solid food a day which has cut down on his nursing and his puking (yay!). I am concerned that he isn't getting enough to drink, but he seems happy enough and I offer him water from his sippy cup.
Along with solid food comes the Poop Shift. That relatively odorless yellow mess that used to squeeze out the legs and top of the diaper is no more. In fact, for a few days after his introduction to solids there was no poop at all. You can imagine my anxiety: "When will it happen? How much am I going to have to deal with? Will it hurt him? Will it overflow? Is he impacted?". When it finally happened after almost a week it was not so bad. MLO didn't seem to be bothered by it, although the look of concern and concentration he made while making his special delivery was priceless. I texted my husband, "Full on turds. Stinky turds." Boy, are they stinky. If by chance you miss the spectacle that is his eyebrows furrowing and his face turning purple while he delivers, you will definitely not miss the smell. At first it was a bit pasty and messy to clean up, but now he presents us with neatly bundled poops that roll off into the toilet: no poop laying around in a diaper pail, so no lingering ick. I like it fine.
MLO has mastered crawling. He isn't terribly fast, but when he wants to go he goes efficiently and directly. It is so cute to watch. I definitely need to invest in a pen to keep him safe and allow him to practice while I clean house or make meals. With crawling has come climbing. He pulls himself up on anything he can reach. With both crawling and climbing comes heightened anxiety. I try to let him bonk in hopes that he'll learn to watch his head when coming up to a table or not to crawl into the door, but of course I don't want him to hurt himself. I'm trying to find that balance between appropriately protecting and not hovering anxiously.
Yeah, so big changes this month!
We started solid food with oatmeal instead of the traditional rice cereal on a recommendation from our doc. We have successfully tried banana, butternut squash, and carrots. I'm making the baby food myself which is so easy. I use some ice cube trays with lids to freeze the pureed food into serving sizes and it works great. MLO is eating 2 meals of solid food a day which has cut down on his nursing and his puking (yay!). I am concerned that he isn't getting enough to drink, but he seems happy enough and I offer him water from his sippy cup.
Along with solid food comes the Poop Shift. That relatively odorless yellow mess that used to squeeze out the legs and top of the diaper is no more. In fact, for a few days after his introduction to solids there was no poop at all. You can imagine my anxiety: "When will it happen? How much am I going to have to deal with? Will it hurt him? Will it overflow? Is he impacted?". When it finally happened after almost a week it was not so bad. MLO didn't seem to be bothered by it, although the look of concern and concentration he made while making his special delivery was priceless. I texted my husband, "Full on turds. Stinky turds." Boy, are they stinky. If by chance you miss the spectacle that is his eyebrows furrowing and his face turning purple while he delivers, you will definitely not miss the smell. At first it was a bit pasty and messy to clean up, but now he presents us with neatly bundled poops that roll off into the toilet: no poop laying around in a diaper pail, so no lingering ick. I like it fine.
MLO has mastered crawling. He isn't terribly fast, but when he wants to go he goes efficiently and directly. It is so cute to watch. I definitely need to invest in a pen to keep him safe and allow him to practice while I clean house or make meals. With crawling has come climbing. He pulls himself up on anything he can reach. With both crawling and climbing comes heightened anxiety. I try to let him bonk in hopes that he'll learn to watch his head when coming up to a table or not to crawl into the door, but of course I don't want him to hurt himself. I'm trying to find that balance between appropriately protecting and not hovering anxiously.
Yeah, so big changes this month!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Afterbirth
So much changes after your baby is born; a drastic hormone shift occurs, your body shrinks and suddenly feels empty, you face the needs of a person who depends on you completely. All of those changes bring about their own set of challenges and rewards. My experience was exaggerated by having my son taken from me in the hours after his birth with his subsequent admission to the NICU. Just as nothing can fully prepare you for becoming a parent, nothing can prepare you to be separated from your child and having to observe him hooked up to oxygen, monitor wires and IVs. You just have to get through it, and you do.
When MLO was admitted I was in the baby and mother ward while Hubby was with MLO. I had no idea what was going on for a good 30-40 minutes before a nurse came in and told me that they had admitted my son and were running tests. I was very brave. I didn't cry, I asked the questions that satisfied my need to understand and I rationalized that my son was going to be fine, just as the nurse said, but that he needed a little extra care. I kept my brave face until, exhausted and with the shock of having labored and delivered wearing off, I was wheeled up to the NICU to see my son for the first time since he had been taken from me. When I laid eyes on him I lost it. I couldn't touch him, he was hooked up to several monitors, fluid bags and an oxygen machine. He looked so tiny and helpless and the only things I could do, provide for his nutrition and comfort, I couldn't do. He was receiving nutrients through an IV and I wasn't allowed to hold him. I felt powerless, unnecessary and heartbroken. I wanted to stay with him, but I knew I was worthless with exhaustion and sorrow. Hubby wheeled me back to my room. It rained that night and for days after.
The next day we made our way to the NICU. I was still too weak and anemic to make the walk so Hubby wheeled me down. This time I was allowed to hold MLO and they told me it was ok to try to nurse him. We had a hard time, as MLO was getting most of the nutrients he needed from the IV and was so apparently comforted to be close to me that he just fell asleep. This was the first of the challenges that led to my biggest post-partum frustration: everyone knew more than I did. I had at least two different lactation consultants giving me advice along with the NICU nurses and the physician. Having all of those experts sharing their opinion overshadowed my experience and essentially made me feel worthless and stupid. In hindsight I recognize that I let it bother me more than it should have, but I was hardly myself and I was losing the experience of learning on my own to the differing advice and opinions of experts. Frankly, I had a hard time keeping it together. I just wanted to cry. Hubby and I took turns holding our little fella and then he wheeled me back to my room for lunch.
Later that day I had a psychiatrist visit as is required for all moms with babies in the NICU. She asked the usual questions, "Do you use drugs? Does your spouse abuse you?". She tried to get me to talk about my feelings regarding my son's admission but the whole thing was forced and I just wasn't comfortable with her. I basically just tried to get rid of her. Once she was gone and Hubby was back I felt much better. Hubby could always calm my nerves and set things right. During labor and in the days after MLO was born I realized how profoundly lucky I was to have my Hubby. Through the challenges of the labor and an admitted baby Hubby and I acted as one and even at my weakest he gave me strength. I didn't think I could love him more, but after all that, I did.
In a hospital setting like that there are so many different people giving you advice and guidance. The bombardment is overwhelming and sometimes conflicting. We had the breastfeeding consultants telling us one thing, then when we discussed this with our NICU nurse she seemed to get upset and imply we were doing it wrong. I can't express how difficult that is for a new mom to hear. Not only are you new at this incredibly important job, but you have limited contact with the baby you have been longing to meet for 9 months and you just want to do it right. Those feelings compounded into a lingering sense of ineptitude.
On the last day of my stay in the hospital all of this came to a head. Everyone was telling me how to do my job, some opinions differed from others and all I wanted was some relaxed, private time with my newborn. I generally felt like I just couldn't do anything right, and compared to these experts, I couldn't. On top of all that floated this cloud of guilt I felt about leaving my baby in the hospital and moving home. I had finally reached the end of my rope and needed to get away from the hospital. As I left the NICU I ran into the therapist and she took my arm and said in this over sympathetic tone, "You look sad." I wanted to yell at her, "Of course I'm sad! I'm leaving my newborn child in the care of strangers and going home! I can't seem to nurse him right! My milk won't come in! Everyone is telling me what to do! Are you kidding?" But all I said was, "I'm just really overwhelmed, and I need to go home" and I turned and walked away.
Once I got home I started to relax and recover. I regained my sanity and cried less when I went to the hospital. Hubby and I essentially took shifts at the NICU until he had to go back to work, then I split my days between bed and the NICU. MLO was recovering well and we were getting better at nursing. I got to enjoy just holding him and when something unexpected happened I had a whole cadre of experts to tell me not to worry about it. I started to reap the benefits of all that knowledge and desire to help. Concurrently the weather began to warm and the sun broke through the clouds.
On the day MLO was discharged the sun was shining. He had a flawless check up with the physician and was given the greenlight to go home. We packed him up and into the car seat. On the way home he slept peacefully. As I stared through the car windows I noticed that the whole world was fresh and bright. The hills were a brilliant green and the sky clear and blue. The beauty of it dazzled me. All the cars seemed to move so fast, I was taken aback by how hurried everything was. I felt content to take our time, our family complete, peacefully travelling home. I mentioned this to Hubby and he agreed. We were both just so happy. The world had never seemed so rich and beautiful to us as it did on the day we brought MLO home, and our lives have been enriched beyond description since.
So maybe all that sorrow and frustration helped us realize how incredibly lucky we were to simply drive home with our kidlet. It certainly made us stronger and in the face of all that doubt I have turned out to be as good a mom as ever I hoped (for now). At least I feel confident that I do right by my son. So yes, there are challenges but the rewards are beyond measure. As Richard Bach said, "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in it's hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."
When MLO was admitted I was in the baby and mother ward while Hubby was with MLO. I had no idea what was going on for a good 30-40 minutes before a nurse came in and told me that they had admitted my son and were running tests. I was very brave. I didn't cry, I asked the questions that satisfied my need to understand and I rationalized that my son was going to be fine, just as the nurse said, but that he needed a little extra care. I kept my brave face until, exhausted and with the shock of having labored and delivered wearing off, I was wheeled up to the NICU to see my son for the first time since he had been taken from me. When I laid eyes on him I lost it. I couldn't touch him, he was hooked up to several monitors, fluid bags and an oxygen machine. He looked so tiny and helpless and the only things I could do, provide for his nutrition and comfort, I couldn't do. He was receiving nutrients through an IV and I wasn't allowed to hold him. I felt powerless, unnecessary and heartbroken. I wanted to stay with him, but I knew I was worthless with exhaustion and sorrow. Hubby wheeled me back to my room. It rained that night and for days after.
The next day we made our way to the NICU. I was still too weak and anemic to make the walk so Hubby wheeled me down. This time I was allowed to hold MLO and they told me it was ok to try to nurse him. We had a hard time, as MLO was getting most of the nutrients he needed from the IV and was so apparently comforted to be close to me that he just fell asleep. This was the first of the challenges that led to my biggest post-partum frustration: everyone knew more than I did. I had at least two different lactation consultants giving me advice along with the NICU nurses and the physician. Having all of those experts sharing their opinion overshadowed my experience and essentially made me feel worthless and stupid. In hindsight I recognize that I let it bother me more than it should have, but I was hardly myself and I was losing the experience of learning on my own to the differing advice and opinions of experts. Frankly, I had a hard time keeping it together. I just wanted to cry. Hubby and I took turns holding our little fella and then he wheeled me back to my room for lunch.
Later that day I had a psychiatrist visit as is required for all moms with babies in the NICU. She asked the usual questions, "Do you use drugs? Does your spouse abuse you?". She tried to get me to talk about my feelings regarding my son's admission but the whole thing was forced and I just wasn't comfortable with her. I basically just tried to get rid of her. Once she was gone and Hubby was back I felt much better. Hubby could always calm my nerves and set things right. During labor and in the days after MLO was born I realized how profoundly lucky I was to have my Hubby. Through the challenges of the labor and an admitted baby Hubby and I acted as one and even at my weakest he gave me strength. I didn't think I could love him more, but after all that, I did.
In a hospital setting like that there are so many different people giving you advice and guidance. The bombardment is overwhelming and sometimes conflicting. We had the breastfeeding consultants telling us one thing, then when we discussed this with our NICU nurse she seemed to get upset and imply we were doing it wrong. I can't express how difficult that is for a new mom to hear. Not only are you new at this incredibly important job, but you have limited contact with the baby you have been longing to meet for 9 months and you just want to do it right. Those feelings compounded into a lingering sense of ineptitude.
On the last day of my stay in the hospital all of this came to a head. Everyone was telling me how to do my job, some opinions differed from others and all I wanted was some relaxed, private time with my newborn. I generally felt like I just couldn't do anything right, and compared to these experts, I couldn't. On top of all that floated this cloud of guilt I felt about leaving my baby in the hospital and moving home. I had finally reached the end of my rope and needed to get away from the hospital. As I left the NICU I ran into the therapist and she took my arm and said in this over sympathetic tone, "You look sad." I wanted to yell at her, "Of course I'm sad! I'm leaving my newborn child in the care of strangers and going home! I can't seem to nurse him right! My milk won't come in! Everyone is telling me what to do! Are you kidding?" But all I said was, "I'm just really overwhelmed, and I need to go home" and I turned and walked away.
Once I got home I started to relax and recover. I regained my sanity and cried less when I went to the hospital. Hubby and I essentially took shifts at the NICU until he had to go back to work, then I split my days between bed and the NICU. MLO was recovering well and we were getting better at nursing. I got to enjoy just holding him and when something unexpected happened I had a whole cadre of experts to tell me not to worry about it. I started to reap the benefits of all that knowledge and desire to help. Concurrently the weather began to warm and the sun broke through the clouds.
On the day MLO was discharged the sun was shining. He had a flawless check up with the physician and was given the greenlight to go home. We packed him up and into the car seat. On the way home he slept peacefully. As I stared through the car windows I noticed that the whole world was fresh and bright. The hills were a brilliant green and the sky clear and blue. The beauty of it dazzled me. All the cars seemed to move so fast, I was taken aback by how hurried everything was. I felt content to take our time, our family complete, peacefully travelling home. I mentioned this to Hubby and he agreed. We were both just so happy. The world had never seemed so rich and beautiful to us as it did on the day we brought MLO home, and our lives have been enriched beyond description since.
So maybe all that sorrow and frustration helped us realize how incredibly lucky we were to simply drive home with our kidlet. It certainly made us stronger and in the face of all that doubt I have turned out to be as good a mom as ever I hoped (for now). At least I feel confident that I do right by my son. So yes, there are challenges but the rewards are beyond measure. As Richard Bach said, "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in it's hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."
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