Back to the Rash Saga

Hubby and I are scientists. It follows, then, that we would experiment on our child.

When we got in touch with our diaper service about MLO's rash, they suggested that we try the diapers again after they had stripped them. This process is supposed to remove ammonia build-up and etc. So we gave it a shot. After a day of wearing the diapers MLO was red and irritated again. It took a day and a half of wearing the Huggies before his skin returned to normal. We then decided to wash the diapers in our own detergent. We use Costco's free and clear detergent, and MLO doesn't have skin problems where his clothes touch. So I washed about a day and a half worth of the diapers twice on hot, both times with an additional rinse after the wash for good measure. MLO's skin tolerated the diapers much better. He still gets a spotted rash now and again above his groin and on his sit bones, and he tends to be more interested in scratching himself. He doesn't seem uncomfortable, though, and I simply can't stand the thought of throwing all of those non-degradable diapers into a landfill. 

It is interesting to me that we used those diapers for 5 months before he developed a problem. I wonder if that indicates a propensity toward developing allergies. I am so curious about to what, exactly, he reacts. It must be some element of their detergent. I should ask them what they use.

So now we begin on the path of washing our own diapers. I don't have a problem with this, except when he has taken a mighty dump and sat in it before I've realized it. Then the poo is squashed against the diaper and is difficult to remove. I haven't gotten to the point where I put the diaper into the toilet and swish, nor have I designated a stick for poop scraping. I just keep hoping it doesn't happen. Ha.

I also don't know what to do about acquiring diapers. We are welcome to purchase the diapers we've been using from the service, but he has all but outgrown them. I also would like to get something softer and possibly more breathable, though I don't know such a diaper actually exists. I know that diapers made of hemp are supposed to be more absorbent and antimicrobial than those made of cotton, but accordingly they cost more. We will need at least 40 of them and the Cadillac of diapers runs nearly $20 a piece while the basic prefolds are $3-6 each. Ugh. It is still cheaper than the $10 a package at 26 diapers a package. It's funny how that seemed less expensive at the time.

During this time, Diaperpin.com has become a valuable resource. If you haven't looked around their site I recommend visiting. The site is dedicated to information regarding different cloth diapering options, cleaning suggestions, vendors and user ratings. It has proven very educational.

So there you have it. We are slowly finding our way back to cloth diapering full time.

Small Ways to Help

I always had a particularly vulnerable spot in my heart for children in need. I've failed to do much about it so far, using the usual excuse of 'What difference could I possibly make?' I know it's lame and the guilt of being a perfectly capable person who does nothing is wasted. So when I fell upon an opportunity to donate in a really easy way, I took it.

Huggies has a rewards program aimed at promoting exclusive consumerism of their products and tracking where their products are purchased. I know Pampers has a similar program. The Huggies 'Enjoy the Ride Rewards' program bestows upon a consumer points for every product purchased. The Pure and Natural diapers confers 15 points. You go to the website, sign up, and insert your product code. Points are saved on the site and you can earn more points by watching propaganda video, playing games or reading articles.

Points can be used to enter sweepstakes, play games with prizes such as gift cards and coupon books, or toward the purchase of items. I didn't realize until recently that I could donate those points toward providing diapers for a child in need. Considering the public sanitation and individual child health risks associated with not using diapers or reusing old diapers, I thought this was a pretty good deal. By donating 16 of my points I provide a day's worth of diapers. Simple, easy and a worthy use of points that hadn't done much for me otherwise.

This isn't a sacrificial sort of helping that makes you feel good deep down, but it is helping. I get the points by purchasing something I need anyway. Why let them go to waste doing nothing at all, playing silly games or entering sweepstakes, when I can use them toward something that will tangibly help someone else? I bring this up because it isn't the sort of thing a new mom is using energy thinking about. We get so caught up in surviving our day, providing for our families and managing our own wants and needs that we miss the little opportunities to help. I urge you to look into the products you purchase or the websites you frequent and see if there is an equally easy way you can make a difference.

Rash Saga Update

I hate to admit it, but with exclusive use of the Huggies, MLO's rash has all but disappeared. He has a mottled pink look to his entire diaper area, but the rash is a far cry from the raised, red, angry looking skin he had while wearing his 7th Generations and prefolds. Curses! I loved the relative sustainability of the 7th Generation diapers and the prefolds. While I'm afraid we will never return to the 7th Generation disposables, I am determined to find my way back to cloth diapers. Wish us luck and please comment with any recommendations or ideas.

On another note, I purchased some Desitin 'instant relief' cream, thinking that would mitigate the residual redness. After 2 applications his diaper area broke out something awful in a bright red rash. Desitin states clearly on their packaging that their creams are hypoallergenic, so this confirms our suspicion that MLO just has super sensitive skin. Honestly, it may not have anything to do with the Desitin, but I don't want a repeat of this redness so I'll never know. Ugh.

Sleep Wars Episode III

So the night before last MLO awoke again around 3. I changed him and rocked him for a bit but he didn't seem tired. He wasn't fussy, just awake. So I put him in his crib and went back to bed. That did not last. He was quiet for a while, then began to fuss, then began to ball. I went in a couple of times to lay him back down, soothe him, and hold his arms for a bit to get him to hold still long enough for him to realize his own exhaustion. It took a long time for him to go to sleep, and before I knew it, he was up crying again (5:30) and out of exasperation and exhaustion I fed him. Unfortunately, nursing him did not do the trick. He stayed awake playing in his crib for another hour before finally falling asleep on his own.

He and I have left town for a few days so we have postponed sleep training for now. There is no reason to push the issue with him sleeping in a travel crib and in an unfamiliar room. Hopefully this doesn't throw us off course, and if it does, oh well.

Sleep Wars Episode II

So MLO has generally napped better since learning to crawl and since starting solid foods. Alternatively, he has had a harder time going to sleep. I removed his bumper from the crib as he started pulling himself up on the rails and I didn't want him launching himself over. Now that he can see out the sides from a laying position he just wants to play. He will spend over an hour crawling around his crib, pulling himself up and whining even though he is clearly exhausted. I don't get it.

Last night I made an interesting discovery that I think is related to both solid food and cloth diapers. Since MLO has started on solids he seems more likely to go longer at night before wanting to eat, no big surprise there. Also, he urinates less as he doesn't consume milk before going to bed. Since he stopped wetting so heavily we recently decided to go back to cloth diapering at night. As such, when he wakes up to nurse I have been changing him before-hand to be sure that he gets changed before nodding off while nursing. Last night he awoke at 12:45 and 5:30, both times giving his usual cry of' "Come feed me, dammit!" I put him on the changing table and he threw a fit, as usual. By the time his diaper was changed (it takes me a bit longer with cloth than with disposables) he was no longer upset. In fact, he didn't seem hungry. I rocked him in the chair for a bit before putting him back in bed and he was fine both times. He did end up whining again around 6, so I got up and fed him and off to sleep he went.

So, what does this mean? Well it might mean nothing. MLO has gone through the night without nursing (or waking, for that matter) before, and nothing changed in the long term. Though, I have to wonder if the waking and going back to sleep with no nursing is a step for us. He is used to nursing once at night, and I suspect he uses that more to get back to sleep than to quench thirst or fill an empty achy tummy. If I can get him back to sleep without nursing him, maybe we are closer to getting himself back to sleep. Again, we could let him cry it out, but I'm just not comfortable with that. We have tried it before and it ends up making us all miserable for an hour or longer. So we will see. Any of you experienced moms have any suggestions/observations to share?

Cloth Diapering (and Wiping) Made Easy

After the first few weeks of parenthood you realize what an incredible number of diapers a child goes through in a day. The thought of years of diapers going into a landfill made Hubby and I look for an alternative. None of our peers used cloth diapers and most of our friend's kids are in elementary school, so we really didn't know what cloth diapering was all about. We sought an easy, low impact way to use cloth diapers and found it in a diaper service.

When I first started researching diaper services I didn't think paying someone to pick up and clean our diapers would be economical. I saw cloth diapering as a luxury afforded to people with lots of time and lots of money, the same way wealthy, green-minded people have prohibitively expensive sustainable or repurposed countertops. The service we came upon couldn't make cloth diapering easier at a totally reasonable price. We spend the same amount on cloth diapers that we would on regular diapers in a month.

The service provides prefold diapers in varying quantities and sizes. There are tons of ways to fold these diapers to meet your child's needs. Once the diaper is folded it can be secured with a device called a Snappi, which negates the use of diaper pins. The diaper is then covered with a diaper cover that holds everything in. We receive 1 delivery a week of clean prefold diapers and keep the dirties in a diaper pale until delivery/pickup day rolls around. We own the diaper covers, but the service (and some websites) offer a buyback program so that you can trade up when baby outgrows the cover. The owner met with us when MLO was just a week old and helped us figure out how many diapers to get and showed us how to fold them. She gave us great one-on-one attention and tips. Whenever something comes up all I have to do is call and she is always flexible. Additionally, the service has a gift registry option, so if you are expecting you can sign up for them and register for a few months of service. I love that idea because it allows you to try it out on somebody elses dime! As you can tell, our experience has been stellar.

We also use reusable wipes. When I was pregnant I thought reusable wipes went a bit far, but MLO had really sensitive skin and the doctor recommended we wipe him up with just a wet washcloth. We received  a glut of washcloths that we now use as wipes. This has worked out amazingly well. I do a couple of small loads of diaper associated laundry a week to wash the covers and the 'wipes' and I don't have a big problem with running out of wipes or with a bucket of stinky cloths.

I do have a couple of issues with using the prefold system: the covers (and I suspect the diaper itself) tend to leave red marks on MLO and the covers use velcro to fasten, which can lose grip over time. Baby can also unfasten velcro more easily than snaps. For these reasons I looked into the fancy pocket diapering system called FuzziBunz. These are a fleece cover which secures with snaps and has a special highly absorbent insert. I love that the surface contacting MLO's skin remains dry. Since they are super pricey (almost $18 for ONE diaper/insert) I only own the one diaper. I would like to use them at night, but I haven't found a good used diaper deal on them yet. Hubby considers the prefolds wasteful as both the cover and the insert need to be washed after each use, unlike the Bummis covers we use with prefolds. Also, the service doesn't cover our personal diapers so I would have to wash them all myself, which would be ok, I think. Check out Diaperpin.com for an interesting rating system and forums they have for how-tos and FAQs about pocket diapers, prefolds and reusable wipes.

When we are out and about I do use disposables because I want to be able to just get rid of the dirties. I have had great success with Seventh Generation diapers. I get more of these for less than I can get the Huggies Pure and Natural diapers and I think they work just as well. The Seventh Generation diapers are made without chlorine and with wood pulp and therefore are more environmentally friendly than your typical diaper. Additionally, they are hypoallergenic and fragrance free. When I wanted to experiment with new diapers I wrote to them and they sent me free samples to try in all sorts of different sizes. They were hugely helpful and they make a great product. When we are on the go I also use conventional wipes. We started out using Pampers Sensitive wipes which are also hypoallergenic and fragrance free. I debated switching to the Seventh Generation wipes but I can buy the Pampers in bulk and with MLO's sensitive skin I'm afraid to switch. I would need more than a few from a free sample to know whether the new wipes irritate his skin and I just don't want to risk it.

As you can see, there are lots of diapering options out there. Having a baby doesn't necessarily mean you have to significantly contribute to the massive amount of plastic in landfills, nor does it mean that you have to spend a fortune on cloth diapering.  

The Daily Grind

This is has been a huge month for our family. MLO has become a champ at eating solid foods, pooping real, human poop, crawling, and climbing.

We started solid food with oatmeal instead of the traditional rice cereal on a recommendation from our doc. We have successfully tried banana, butternut squash, and carrots. I'm making the baby food myself which is so easy. I use some ice cube trays with lids to freeze the pureed food into serving sizes and it works great. MLO is eating 2 meals of solid food a day which has cut down on his nursing and his puking (yay!). I am concerned that he isn't getting enough to drink, but he seems happy enough and I offer him water from his sippy cup.

Along with solid food comes the Poop Shift. That relatively odorless yellow mess that used to squeeze out the legs and top of the diaper is no more. In fact, for a few days after his introduction to solids there was no poop at all. You can imagine my anxiety: "When will it happen? How much am I going to have to deal with? Will it hurt him? Will it overflow? Is he impacted?". When it finally happened after almost a week it was not so bad. MLO didn't seem to be bothered by it, although the look of concern and concentration he made while making his special delivery was priceless. I texted my husband, "Full on turds. Stinky turds." Boy, are they stinky. If by chance you miss the spectacle that is his eyebrows furrowing and his face turning purple while he delivers, you will definitely not miss the smell. At first it was a bit pasty and messy to clean up, but now he presents us with neatly bundled poops that roll off into the toilet: no poop laying around in a diaper pail, so no lingering ick. I like it fine.

MLO has mastered crawling. He isn't terribly fast, but when he wants to go he goes efficiently and directly. It is so cute to watch. I definitely need to invest in a pen to keep him safe and allow him to practice while I clean house or make meals. With crawling has come climbing. He pulls himself up on anything he can reach. With both crawling and climbing comes heightened anxiety. I try to let him bonk in hopes that he'll learn to watch his head when coming up to a table or not to crawl into the door, but of course I don't want him to hurt himself. I'm trying to find that balance between appropriately protecting and not hovering anxiously.

Yeah, so big changes this month!

Afterbirth

So much changes after your baby is born; a drastic hormone shift occurs, your body shrinks and suddenly feels empty, you face the needs of a person who depends on you completely. All of those changes bring about their own set of challenges and rewards. My experience was exaggerated by having my son taken from me in the hours after his birth with his subsequent admission to the NICU. Just as nothing can fully prepare you for becoming a parent, nothing can prepare you to be separated from your child and having to observe him hooked up to oxygen, monitor wires and IVs. You just have to get through it, and you do.

When MLO was admitted I was in the baby and mother ward while Hubby was with MLO. I had no idea what was going on for a good 30-40 minutes before a nurse came in and told me that they had admitted my son and were running tests. I was very brave. I didn't cry, I asked the questions that satisfied my need to understand and I rationalized that my son was going to be fine, just as the nurse said, but that he needed a little extra care. I kept my brave face until, exhausted and with the shock of having labored and delivered wearing off, I was wheeled up to the NICU to see my son for the first time since he had been taken from me. When I laid eyes on him I lost it. I couldn't touch him, he was hooked up to several monitors, fluid bags and an oxygen machine. He looked so tiny and helpless and the only things I could do, provide for his nutrition and comfort, I couldn't do. He was receiving nutrients through an IV and I wasn't allowed to hold him. I felt powerless, unnecessary and heartbroken. I wanted to stay with him, but I knew I was worthless with exhaustion and sorrow. Hubby wheeled me back to my room. It rained that night and for days after.

The next day we made our way to the NICU. I was still too weak and anemic to make the walk so Hubby wheeled me down. This time I was allowed to hold MLO and they told me it was ok to try to nurse him. We had a hard time, as MLO was getting most of the nutrients he needed from the IV and was so apparently comforted to be close to me that he just fell asleep. This was the first of the challenges that led to my biggest post-partum frustration: everyone knew more than I did. I had at least two different lactation consultants giving me advice along with the NICU nurses and the physician. Having all of those experts sharing their opinion overshadowed my experience and essentially made me feel worthless and stupid. In hindsight I recognize that I let it bother me more than it should have, but I was hardly myself and I was losing the experience of learning on my own to the differing advice and opinions of experts. Frankly, I had a hard time keeping it together. I just wanted to cry. Hubby and I took turns holding our little fella and then he wheeled me back to my room for lunch.

Later that day I had a psychiatrist visit as is required for all moms with babies in the NICU. She asked the usual questions, "Do you use drugs? Does your spouse abuse you?". She tried to get me to talk about my feelings regarding my son's admission but the whole thing was forced and I just wasn't comfortable with her. I basically just tried to get rid of her. Once she was gone and Hubby was back I felt much better. Hubby could always calm my nerves and set things right. During labor and in the days after MLO was born I realized how profoundly lucky I was to have my Hubby. Through the challenges of the labor and an admitted baby Hubby and I acted as one and even at my weakest he gave me strength. I didn't think I could love him more, but after all that, I did.

In a hospital setting like that there are so many different people giving you advice and guidance. The bombardment is overwhelming and sometimes conflicting. We had the breastfeeding consultants telling us one thing, then when we discussed this with our NICU nurse she seemed to get upset and imply we were doing it wrong. I can't express how difficult that is for a new mom to hear. Not only are you new at this incredibly important job, but you have limited contact with the baby you have been longing to meet  for 9 months and you just want to do it right. Those feelings compounded into a lingering sense of ineptitude.

On the last day of my stay in the hospital all of this came to a head. Everyone was telling me how to do my job, some opinions differed from others and all I wanted was some relaxed, private time with my newborn. I generally felt like I just couldn't do anything right, and compared to these experts, I couldn't. On top of all that floated this cloud of guilt I felt about leaving my baby in the hospital and moving home. I had finally reached the end of my rope and needed to get away from the hospital. As I left the NICU I ran into the therapist and she took my arm and said in this over sympathetic tone, "You look sad." I wanted to yell at her, "Of course I'm sad! I'm leaving my newborn child in the care of strangers and going home! I can't seem to nurse him right! My milk won't come in! Everyone is telling me what to do! Are you kidding?" But all I said was, "I'm just really overwhelmed, and I need to go home" and I turned and walked away.

Once I got home I started to relax and recover. I regained my sanity and cried less when I went to the hospital. Hubby and I essentially took shifts at the NICU until he had to go back to work, then I split my days between bed and the NICU. MLO was recovering well and we were getting better at nursing. I got to enjoy just holding him and when something unexpected happened I had a whole cadre of experts to tell me not to worry about it. I started to reap the benefits of all that knowledge and desire to help. Concurrently the weather began to warm and the sun broke through the clouds.

On the day MLO was discharged the sun was shining. He had a flawless check up with the physician and was given the greenlight to go home. We packed him up and into the car seat. On the way home he slept peacefully. As I stared through the car windows I noticed that the whole world was fresh and bright. The hills were a brilliant green and the sky clear and blue. The beauty of it dazzled me. All the cars seemed to move so fast, I was taken aback by how hurried everything was. I felt content to take our time, our family complete, peacefully travelling home. I mentioned this to Hubby and he agreed. We were both just so happy. The world had never seemed so rich and beautiful to us as it did on the day we brought MLO home, and our lives have been enriched beyond description since.

So maybe all that sorrow and frustration helped us realize how incredibly lucky we were to simply drive home with our kidlet. It certainly made us stronger and in the face of all that doubt I have turned out to be as good a mom as ever I hoped (for now). At least I feel confident that I do right by my son. So yes, there are challenges but the rewards are beyond measure. As Richard Bach said, "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in it's hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."

Tent Camping with Your Baby

So Hubby and I are big time into camping, off-roading, and general outdoors-type entertainment. When I was pregnant with MLO, Hubby and I decided that we wanted to continue to do those things we loved with our little one. As the summer months grew near, I started lightly researching camping tips for parents of kids under 1 year of age. I didn't find a whole lot. We took MLO on his first camping trip when he was just over 3 months old. Before I forget all the stuff we learned this summer I figured I better make this post.

General Ideas:
1. Take a deep breath and accept that you are going into uncharted territory.
Each child is different. For instance, MLO always had a hard time going to sleep if he could see what was going on. He had to be in the tent, in the car, in the carrier (Ergo baby or Baby Bjorn) or in a covered, small travel bassinet in order to fall asleep. There was no sleeping in arms or sleeping in his chair and falling asleep in the carrier was not a guarantee or an easy thing to do. We just had to accept that we couldn't control when and where he was going to nap. If you want to enjoy it, let go of your expectations!

2. Be willing to change plans if necessary to retain the sanity of the family.
On the last day of camping during our first trip we were on the Rubicon Trail. We heard thunder and noted some nasty clouds a-gathering. We decided we didn't want to break camp in the rain the next morning so we packed up that afternoon and headed down the mountain on our7 hour drive home. We got home around midnight, and though it was a long, hard day for all of us, at least we weren't wet....

3. Make a list!
Hubby and I decided to make lists for 3 general areas of packing: kitchen, general camp, and baby. We packed the contents of each list into bins (or coolers where appropriate). This helped keep everything clear in our minds and organized in camp.

4. Pack extra for your first trip.
I wasn't sure how many burp cloths, diapers, wipes, changes of clothes or toys to bring. I looked at our consumption during a day at home and added about 20%. That came in handy when MLO went through more sweatshirts and long sleeved onsies than I expected.

Hubby and I had an amazing time camping with our little fella this summer. We have one of a kind pictures and memories we will hold forever. As we camped more and as MLO grew, we realized we could cut back on some things. For instance, generally it wasn't warm enough for MLO to be in just shorts and a short sleeved onsie so I didn't bring shorts and I brought fewer onsies. Here are some provisions we found particularly useful:

Provisions
1. Unscented diapers and fragrance free wipes: Huggies and Seventh Generation, among others, make unscented diapers and wipes. This is a must for inside the tent! Regardless of whether or not bears are interested in fragranced diapers, I slept better knowing we weren't tempting fate.

2. At least one sleeping bag that isn't a mummy bag. We realized that nighttime was generally too cold for even a jammied, swaddled, beanied, and bagged baby on his own. While we had a pack n' play for naps (which was very handy), MLO slept in a sleeping bag with one of us at night. The mummy bags were too constrictive for 2 of us and I worried that he was going to asphyxiate.

3. A full sized futon mattress. We purchased a basic one of these for camping a few years ago and love it. We tried sleeping on cots with the baby and it was just too awkward. It also fits great in our 4 person tent.

4. Some sort of chair for baby. When MLO was only a few months old we used a rocker that was gifted to us. That thing came in SO handy. It vibrated and soothed and was a safe place we could set him down when we were working in the campsite or eating meals. Once he started sitting up on his own we used a hook on chair that we attached to the picnic table. For that span of time where he was growing out of the rocker but not yet sitting on his own I wish we had the bebePOD. I recently acquired it and LOVE it for around the house and on the go. It would have been great to have in the camp site.

5. Sweatshirts, long sleeved onsies, beanies, footie pajamas and shoes. Camping is cold! We layered our little guy in footie pjs with a pair of pants and a sweatshirt in the morning. We even put shoes on his little feet to keep the heat in.

6. Sunscreen and hats. If your little one is going to be in the sun for more than 15 minutes sunscreen is a must. We had the little mister in hats when he was outdoors too.

From all accounts, camping with a pre-crawler is easy. Don't be scared! If camping is something you loved before your little person joined the world then make it happen and enjoy the ride. I can tell you from experience that you'll be glad you did!

MLO and me overlooking Edison Lake July, 2010. MLO was 4.5 months old.